1.26.2016

Backlash: Post Boobs.


Leg day had me all sorts of sore yesterday and the kids are more than willing to provide some extra pressure when I foam roll. I tried to get Madison to recreate the 'gentle but firm' pressure I got in my yoga class, but she will press down for about 7 seconds then try to climb on me demanding I massage her legs too. Can we just focus on my pain?? Oliver decides to let me in on his long held secret, he is an AMAZING hamstring stretcher!!! We have been together for a million years and I never knew it, rude.


She was videoing us, thank God it didn't save and she didn't post it somewhere! When I heard her voice typing I jumped up and grabbed the phone away, knowing that child she'd be Periscoping. Thankfully she was only messaging me LOL

So I've been having a weird side effect since I got my boobs done. I don't know why, I guess because for so long I thought once I fixed my breasts I would be happy with my body. Not that I am unhappy  with my body, but I have things about myself that drive me crazy and for so long I guess I held the belief that if I fixed the part that bothered me most, I would be happier with the rest. 


The extra skin on my lower body. I think in clothes I look great, I feel great, but the moment I have to get undressed all I can see is that sagging, deflated skin.  It's just been a lot worse mentally for me lately and the only reason I can come up with is that somewhere in my mind I thought the boobs would make me not notice it as much, but it's been the opposite, it bothers me MORE. I'm sure some of you will look at that and say 'eh it's not that bad' and you're probably right. 


I just wish for all my handwork and dedication I could wear a pair of shorts and feel good. To not have some random girl point out my loose skin when I sit down - side eye. No amount of exercise and macros will tighten that skin back up unfortunately, but skin removal surgery is major and scary and a very long recovery. 


I've just always carried my weight in my lower half, my poor hips have been 48 inches around at one point. Of course when I brought it up to my Mom she told me I was being obsessive and trying too hard to get the perfect body, then I got defensive and told her I'm 34 years old and I can do whatever I want with my body. hahaha - mother daughter relationships never change no matter how old you are! She also told me not to wear jeans with holes in them, major side eye. 

There's no real point to me telling y'all this other than I'm hoping by sharing my current struggle it will have less power over me. See now I'm getting all emotional about it, sometimes I feel like I should be happy with what I have, what I worked for, but I can't help my feelings. Most of the time I can focus on the things I love about my body and how far I've come, I'm literally an entirely different person that I was 5 years ago. Maybe that's why clothing is so important to me, it makes me feel better about my body. 

38 comments :

  1. Oh Megan I have so many things to say about this post that I don't even know what to say but I got chills reading this and emotional too.. it's as if those words were coming from me.

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  2. Madison did post a short clip to your snapchat feed! I laughed pretty hard when I saw it this morning because you could tell you guys had no idea. It's pretty innocent though, but in case you didn't know!

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  3. I know EXACTLY how you feel regarding the extra skin. Over the last 3.5 years I lost 170lbs. Literally half my body size and I have extra skin on my stomach and thighs. No matter how hard I work it's still there. I know I am beautiful with it because I have worked so hard and come so far but I just wish it was gone. It's a constant reminder of years of abusing my body. Then on the other hand I try to remind myself that it is a good reminder of where I never want to be again. Ugh being a woman is so hard. We are so critical of ourselves.

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  4. she posted on your snapchat lol!

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  5. Oh girl...I want to give you a hug! You've worked so incredibly hard to get to where you are and there is no doubt that you aren't proud of yourself (we are proud of you!), and you deserve to want to flaunt it! The struggle is real. We are always our own worst critic. Just always remember your hard work and where you've come from.

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  6. I am the same way. After having my babies I had major tummy issues. I had lost all the weight and was smaller than ever but people still asked if I was pregnant all the time because of my pooch. I cried every time. I wanted to whip out something snarky but it would hurt me so much I was sad. So I had a tummy tuck. And my surgeon told me no exercise would fix that bc I was already small. I had wanted one for forever and in my head once it was fixed I would be happy. Needless to say I was happy with my result but it made me fiercely aware of every other flaw for some reason. And my weight has fluctuated but it sort of left me feeling let down bc it didn't have the power I thought it would. And I am overall happy with myself most of the time but I know the feeling and the sad when those flaws we see in ourselves is glaring. But for what it's worth you are beautiful and an inspiration to many! And who wants perfect anyway? Perfect is boring and fake and usually airbrushed. Real is so much better!

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  7. I think you are an inspiration and totally awesome and beautiful! You give me hope that I can feel good about my body after 3 babies if I just keep at it! Rock on mama!

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  8. I have heard that is a very common after-effect of any sort of cosmetic surgery. People who don't keep it in check actually end up with an addiction and continually get new surgeries to "fix their flaws". You're beautiful and awesome...don't let it drag you down!

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  9. You are amazing and you are not alone. Everyone picks at their body about the littlest things. It's okay to do, just don't like it rule you or steal your happiness! :) Keep Rockin' it! ~Laura

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  10. I've been following you for a year or so, and haven't ever commented, but I need to tell you how inspiring you are!! I think you look amazing and it's been so fun to see how hard you've worked to get where you are! We all have areas of our bodies that we hate, even if somebody else thinks we look great! I guess we aren't really supposed to have perfect bodies! If we did, we wouldn't work as hard as we do and be able to feel that sense of accomplishment that comes after the hard work. I just think you rock. You inspire me☺️

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  11. You're human and that's why I love you!

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  12. First and foremost you are amazing and beautiful! I get it! I feel the SAME WAY about my lower half extra skin. You have it in your mind that when you workout as hard as we have, everything will be perfect and dang it IT'S NOT!!!!!! I get so pissed sometimes I just want to go eat a pizza and be fat again (not going there)! Sure we can hide it in clothes and no one else will see it, but we didn't lose the weight for everyone else, we did it for ourselves. Stay focused on how far you've come (hello small thighs!!!!) and all the great things you can do now! You inspire so many and we're all right here with you!

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  13. I could write a novel on how much I connect with this. How much your comments resonate with me becauSe I have those same damn feelings and insecurities about my extra skin on my tummy. And some days I think, why do I work so damn hard when no matter what that won't change? But the bottom line is we work hard because we didn't come this far to only come this far. You are an inspiration to me and you look fantastic. When you show your progress pictures, I see a strong and dedicated woman who works her ass off!

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  14. I'm definitely going to need you to simmer down because you're perfect just the way you are. I cant have you going under the knife again to fix something else, mmkay?

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  15. You are so beautiful and such an inspiration to so many people - don't let that get you down!! It reflects those precious babies of yours and all you've been through in life. Keep on rocking and inspiring others!!

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  16. I want to let you know I can totally relate. I was burned at the age of 11. I am now 35. I suffered 2nd and 3rd Degree burns on 15% of my body. My scars are from just below my breasts up to my chin but not on my back. My breasts hadnt started to develop when i was burned and with the scars they didnt grow. About 10 years ago... I had a double mastectomy and a tummy tuck. The skin from the tummy tuck was used to make two "new" breasts. 4 days after the surgery I got a blood clot in the tissue on the left breast and lost it. Which caused me to undergo another breast reconstruction. Surgery. Long story short i now have one "real" or "natural" feeling breast and one that has 2 silicone implants in it. I have become more self conscious of my breast after Ive had my two kids (ages 6 and 18 months). Ive gained weight but with the scars and the weight gain I have a hard time looking at my self. Ive never heard anyone make a comments about my appearance but I canr help but feel they notice.

    I applaud you for all your hard work and thank you for being an inspiration to so many of us. I watch your periscopes and follow you on here. You are a beautiful person and a great example for all of us. You inspire me to get on the path to losing the baby weight. After all it has been 18 months since I had my daughter...no time like the present.


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  17. I want to let you know I can totally relate. I was burned at the age of 11. I am now 35. I suffered 2nd and 3rd Degree burns on 15% of my body. My scars are from just below my breasts up to my chin but not on my back. My breasts hadnt started to develop when i was burned and with the scars they didnt grow. About 10 years ago... I had a double mastectomy and a tummy tuck. The skin from the tummy tuck was used to make two "new" breasts. 4 days after the surgery I got a blood clot in the tissue on the left breast and lost it. Which caused me to undergo another breast reconstruction. Surgery. Long story short i now have one "real" or "natural" feeling breast and one that has 2 silicone implants in it. I have become more self conscious of my breast after Ive had my two kids (ages 6 and 18 months). Ive gained weight but with the scars and the weight gain I have a hard time looking at my self. Ive never heard anyone make a comments about my appearance but I canr help but feel they notice.

    I applaud you for all your hard work and thank you for being an inspiration to so many of us. I watch your periscopes and follow you on here. You are a beautiful person and a great example for all of us. You inspire me to get on the path to losing the baby weight. After all it has been 18 months since I had my daughter...no time like the present.


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  18. I've said it before, I'll say it again; people throw rocks at things that shine. Judgy-girl probably noticed your amazing back muscles and had to find SOMETHING to pick apart. I've faithfully followed you for 3 years now. There have been others that have come and gone from my motivation list, but you are the constant. Your realness, your ability to share these true life struggles with us, people you've never laid eyes on, is gold. Perfection is a unicorn, a myth. It doesn't exist in humans, therefore, can never be achieved. Having a problem area keeps us humble, grounded. Keep doing what you're doing and try to see yourself the way your faithful followers see you; as a real-life woman, struggling everyday with work, kids, husband, house, exercise, food, life. That's why we love you!

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  19. I'm on the same train as you Meg! You have worked incredibly hard and look amazing! You have everything to be proud of. After twins and a second pregnancy, both c sections, skin is a major issue after getting back to my pre baby weight! I wish I had my boobs done and my tummy but at what point do we become content with ourselves? I think that is the pressure of perfect imaging that women have today. We should be high fiving each other for the successes we have and getting through the trenches of motherhood together. It can be hard! It is hard! We should not be obsessing and comparing ourselves to other women who are skinny, or have babies and never gain and ounce or have stretch marks. We have or own journeys and we should embrace them and be proud. You my friend should definitely be proud! You are straight beast mode and I am inspired by you everyday. Boobs or no boobs, skin or no extra skin, you are inspirational and I think bc you haven't had all the "tune ups" done make you more likable and relevant to all us women who struggle just like you do! #memberoftheIBTC #saggyskinfolife

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  20. First off, you are beautiful no matter what. You work your damndest and your hard work shows. Secondly, I'm noticing how you don't have a "mom pooch" like I do which I envy and also what about those quads?? Keep your head up:)

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  21. Meg,

    I didn't lose 100 pounds and have always been only 10-20 pounds overweight. I also had my boobs done. I too have excessive heavy legs with excessive skin that hangs and collects around my knees. It's likely more genetic than anything. But, my point being, I have such poor body image and obsess over wearing little cute shorts and skirts. It kills me that in addition to the skin and fat collection I also have veins that are so visible. I have tried making peace with this as well, but end up feeling frustrated. The best I can say is you are not alone. What you DO have is the best smile. Gorgeous. I stare at your smile longingly! (: So, I guess we all want something. You've got nothing but good vibes and acceptance from me and I'm guessing most all women.

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  22. I think us women will always find something wrong with ourselves. If we had no saggy skin, a perfect complexion and killer hair, it would then be the length of our big toe or the way the vein stuck out in our left hand (those were totally random). SOMTHING will always bother us because society has taught us to be this way. All we can do is rock the saggy skin, smile like we could give 2 shits about it and eventually, our brains will catch up with our reality.
    Keep rockin' that self confidence girl!!! That saggy skin is a love reminder of your em effin' beast mode!!

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  23. I know exactly how you feel! I have lost 170 pounds in less than a year and I'm starting to notice my skin. I hate it and it's all I can focus on. I can't focus on the fact that I've come so far because that's what I see when I take my clothes off. My mom says the same thing to me! But I definitely think you look amazing and that's what you should see when you look at yourself! Such an inspiration!

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  24. You are such an all around inspiration! My god you are so real its so refreshing! You look amazing! You forever have a gorg smile on your face! I know the feeling of things that bother you and maybe someday it will bother you enough to have a nip or a tuck! In the mean time, you should be running around naked because you look so damn good and look how far you have come! Just keep that beautiful smile going and no ones going to notice a bit of extra skin!!

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  25. My mom was in the same situation about your age and didn't get it removed. Now all of us kids are in our late 20s and 30s. She is getting on up there in age. She says she wished she had gotten it removed when she was younger and would have been able to enjoy it. Mom thinks she is too old to get it done now. You have worked so hard and look amazing! However, strangers telling you that online isn't going to change the way you view it!

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  26. This post brings tears to my eyes. You are a huge inspiration to me. I see your transformation and that keeps me motivated. Thank you for keeping it real! You look amazing, BTW. 🙂

    Courtney

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  27. I'm in the exact situation. I'm about 40 pounds away from getting to 120 lbs from 260. In clothes I think I look great but without I feel like I have the body of a 60 year old and I'm only 32. I eventually do want to get rid of it, just for aesthetic reasons, like wanting to wear a two piece bathing suit without skin literally dripping down when I bend over. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to "fix" little things about yourself as long as you know that the end result will never make you "happy" with yourself, that has to come from within.

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  28. It's very difficult & I think a little side affect of surgery like you said....you do one thing thinking it's all you want or need to fix an issue. But when you see how fixable it was you want the rest to be just as fixable. Also when you work as hard as you do you probably seek a little perfection since you are doing everything food & exercise wise to perfection. We forget we're not 20 our bodies have gone through changes ups downs & everything else. Keep doing what your doing, be easy on yourself & truly try to find other things to worry about & be happy about.....or you will drive yourself crazy. And thanks for sharing. I do know how you feel. I'm one year out of a skin removal surgery on my stomach. But of course now I notice my big ol thighs more than ever. I don't work near as hard as you, but I plug along trying to make them just a little better & ive come to peace knowing they will never look as great as my new tummy...unless I wanna shell out more $$$ & even that's not a guarantee.

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  29. We are our worst critics. You are beautiful! Enough said.

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  30. You are human. Thank you for sharing today and always 💗

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  31. You are such an inspiration to me and many others! I strive to look like you now, to have those defined arms and to slim down my thighs. I can also be hard on myself and I just try to remember that at least I am healthy and able to run and lift as much as I do! Thanks for all your tips and motivation. :):)

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  32. You are beautiful inside and out AND an inspiration to SO MANY women. There will always be something about yourself that will bother you...It's a human trait....and No one's perfect! despite that, You come pretty damn close in my book ;) So, Be PROUD of the body that you have fought so hard for, It's so much more fulfilling to enjoy something that you have earned.
    Besides that, 99% of the women I have ever met who were lucky enough to be born with great genetics and seemingly perfect bodies also seem to have some of the worst personalities.

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  33. If you might remember, I had breast surgery too (and a back lift). And I understand how the rest of it now bothers you. One thing I will say to consider is with breast surgery the suture lines are mostly invisible. And they disappear even more with time. I have seen people with lower surgery and I personally would not like that recovery (as you said) nor the scars. The scars are very different on lower body. I switched to really supportive underwear (all the time) which really holds the excess skin. And then I am just extremely thankful I look great in clothes, not everyone with excess skin is so fortunate. Like you, my calves and feet and arms are really good. My sagging is also thighs and belly. Totally invisible in clothes. Even form fitting clothes. So I KNOW what you are saying. And honestly, just stop looking at yourself naked. . .

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  34. You are such a beautiful person. I just watched a video today that Natalie Hodson put on her facebook page about JUST this issue, and she talked about how she used to hate on the extra skin on her stomach from having kids, and how eventually she changed her self-talk into acceptance, and then love. She says she still has bad days, but 95% of the time she is really okay with herself. And I totally understand what you are saying. I have never been able to wear shorts, I am a fellow saggy-skin-cellulite-sufferer, and the way I look at it is I dress for my body type how it is now and the only person that my naked self matters to is my husband and he loves it just the way that it is. Of course I don't love it, but until I can continue improving myself it gets me by and helps me tremendously with the self-love thing. You look AmAZING!! You really really do. So unless you plan on living in a nudist colony, I think you're 100% fine the way that you are. And even THEN you would be fine. :)

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  35. WOMAN! You are a body builder... literally that POWER HOUSE built TWO healthy babies... not one, TWO!!!! I can totally understand you not feeling 100% ok with your body and I don't really think anyone ever will. Know that it is O.K.!!! I'm thankful that you are so honest with us and thankful that you share so much of your life! I totally believe that once you've made it known that it won't have as much power over you! Really I just want you to know that I'm so thankful for your struggle because it has helped me in my struggle and I'm now a fellow iifym-er!

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  36. Such a powerful and honest post. I know this will help so many women. I too have issues with saggy skin but it has less to do with weight loss and more to do with age and sun exposure (I literally could be your mother). Nevertheless, it is my body issue and I work really hard not to let it suck me in. So, I avoid the mirror at shower time and when I get "bad" thoughts I remind myself that I am thinner, and most importantly stronger and fitter than most women of any age. Strong, healthy and fit trumps all. I love that my body can run 15 miles, lift heavy(ish) weights, climb a mountain, build a fence. And bermuda shorts are OK! I love your blog and your dedication inspires me.

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  37. I have to extra skin as well I have accepted it, doesn't mean I don't wish it wasn't there but I know it'll never go away.

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  38. I have to extra skin as well I have accepted it, doesn't mean I don't wish it wasn't there but I know it'll never go away.

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