I Screwed Up. Royally.

This is probably going to be a hot mess of a post because I'm a hot mess myself. I screwed up in a big way.  I'm talking a total effing disaster that came in the mail last night via the IRS and a return from a few years ago that I missed something on. This was after dance class and a 30 minute 20 mph drive home where Madison freaked out the entire way because a lady bug was in the car. Aiden started to cry and Madison was acting like a nut, then I checked the mail, and bam. Bad freaking news. I try to call Oliver, but his phone was kaput. While trying not to flip a lid, I feed the kids and furiously clean whatever I can, cleaning is my go to destresser I just feel better while doing it. I start to cry because I know Oliver's going to be furious with me.

He comes in and asks why I'm crying, I tell him, and he completely shocks me by giving me a big hug, telling me not to worry and that we will fix it. He asks me if I've had dinner and I tell him through my tears that I only have macros for proteins and fats - eggs, sausage, and cheese it is. I swear I have the best husband ever, to not place one iota of blame on me and instead try to make me feel better - that's love. Now I just need to pray I can fix it and not be paying for this mistake for a very long time. I'm telling y'all - this has not been my best year :(

My weight has been stuck for the last few weeks, I hit prepreggo weight and it just sat there day after day. My macros were adjusted by Paige, increasing my carbs and lowering my fats and proteins a bit. Whenever my numbers change I tend to feel off for a few days as I try to figure out what to eat to fit my new numbers. Looking back through my food diary I haven't been hitting my numbers as consistently as I would like, off by 10 here and there, I tried to figure out where I was struggling. My number one problem right now is after work, with the sun staying up longer we are busier at night - soccer, dance, and our nightly runs. I haven't been eating dinner until 8 or 8:30 and then just eating what was easy. So my goal this week is to get my 7pm-9pm under control - even after my meltdown last night I managed to hit my numbers, but I had to bust out a protein shake to do it. Wasn't crazy impressed with this brand, I think I should've mixed it up with some ice and almond milk for a smoothie. 

 Drinking a protein shake before bed is not the best idea, I woke up to pee around 3:45 then I could feel my stomach rumbling from hunger, and then I remembered my IRS nightmare and couldn't go back to sleep. I just laid there until 4:15, got up and ate something before heading out on a run. My legs were like lead after leg day yesterday - I went extra heavy on the lunges so I felt my booty with every move I made today. The girls I ran with were fast - we kept an 8:29 pace for 5 miles {and hills, we always run those damn hills} and then I busted out some heavy upper body for 4/5 reps 3 sets. The entire time I was running I kept chanting to myself  'tired legs make you stronger' sometimes you just need to pep talk yourself.

Let's end on a happy note and imagine what the bald one will look like when he's not bald anymore. 

This sweet girl hugs him 2,700 times a day, it's no wonder he hates everybody we never give him enough space to even look around :)

INSTAGRAM/FACEBOOK/PINTEREST

Winning the Weekend

Saturday I met up with my favorite running girls for an easy 8 miles at 5 am, the weather was chiller than I thought so I'm glad I put on long sleeves last minute before leaving the house. We did an easy flat route at a 9:20 pace, then I headed back home to pick up the family for a local race we were running. 

 

Madison and Oliver did the 1k while I stayed at the finish line with the bald one, she was so excited to get her first running medal!!  I was signed up for the 10k, just for fun, but after seeing how many people were there I thought, hmmmmm maybe I should run the shit out of this course and see if I place! I've never ever ever placed in a race before or even considered it :)

I came in second in my age group - the girl who got first was literally RIGHT in front of me, but I stopped to run in with Madison. I'm still stoked about getting second - my time was 51 minutes - so around an 8:50 pace. I'm sure I could of done a heck of a lot better if I didn't run an 8 mile warm up ahead of time LOL Anyways, we had a ton of fun together and I think Madison will be ready for a full 5k soon. 

We ran home, changed for soccer, and pulled out the cowbell for all the goals! This is Madison's 4th season with this team and it's nice keeping with the same girls, the Mom's are great and I really enjoy hanging out with them at practices and games. They've already improved some skills over last season so I'm excited to see how they do!

Oliver's dying to buy a new mower and wanted to go look after her game, but a tired bald baby had other ideas. When Madison was a baby she was a champ at cat napping in the car on the weekend and being on the go, Aiden can't deal. He needs his bed and a solid two hours of uninterrupted sleep. So we all went home and napped cause if you can't beat 'em join 'em. 

Somewhere in between naps and soccer we may have forgot to feed the kids lunch. Oops. We felt terrible so we let Madison pick dinner, Olive Garden, her favorite place {well besides Which Wich, cause she can write on the bags herself}. I had the rosemary chicken and potatoes, actually Aiden ate most of my potatoes. That kids loves a carb which makes sense because that's pretty much the ONLY thing I wanted to eat while pregnant.

Sweet Frog is a must on the first hot day of the year, then early bed times, and a new series on NetFlix. We have trouble finding appropriate shows we enjoy, but can still watch in front of Madison, giving West Wing a chance this week. 

Sunday we slept in a bit then everyone came to my soccer game. I freaking love Madison on the sidelines 'coaching' me to 'pull back Mama, PULL BACK' hahhahhaha. After we hit up Kroger for the weekly haul, Oliver wandered off and left me with an arm full of stuff searching for him. I was so over it by the time I found him that I forgot the most important item - CHICKEN. I got home and had nothing to prep for the week for dinners. So annoyed. 250 bucks and we have no meat. I blame Oliver so he can eat cereal and veggies for all I care. We have dance and soccer practice now so I don't get home until 8 three days out of the week, zero time for dinner.

My life changed the moment I put Cookie Butter in the microwave, I'm so obsessed. It gets it all runny and when you pour it over food you USE LESS, but feel like you are getting more! Macro winning on my lunch yesterday.

 

 

While Aiden worked on a 3 hour nap I cleaned the house, I didn't have time to do anything last Sunday because I was running the half so I was playing catch up all week and hated it. My weeks go better when I get chores done on Sundays. Minimum is kitchen, master bath, laundry, and floors.

My clothing obsession does not fit into my real life closet, number one requirement for my next home is extra large closet space!! So once a year I have to do the switch over - I put all the cold weather clothing into the attic {I found great garment boxes at The Container Store} and pull of the Spring/Summer stuff out. Well last year I was 40 pounds heavier, everything is too big. I've sold my clothing before on IG, but it was such a pain so I don't think I want to do that again. I'm not sure what my plan is yet, but I need to figure it out soon. I'm glad I'm done having babies, staying the same size from now on sounds like heaven to me.

INSTAGRAM/FACEBOOK/PINTEREST

Blogging.

I don't like to call myself a 'blogger', people give you side eye and ask what that even means, then they just smile and nod as you try to explain yourself.  I'm just a girl who shares thoughts and pictures online, I don't make a living off of it and never plan to. Putting yourself out there can be hard and I'm not talking about showing a little extra skin, I've been asked for advice from people who are thinking about starting their own blogs so here are a few things to take into consideration.

1. How much is too much?

You have to decide for yourself how much of your life you are willing to share, but on the flip side you will get judged for everything you show.... and don't show.  For example, you post a picture of your dessert after dinner, you must only be eating junk and that's why you are still chunky. Also be sure to post pictures with your kid every so often so people know you still love and take care of them.

2. Always be ready for a picture.

Cause that time you're out getting Fro-Yo with your family and someone thinks they are sneaking a picture of you eating and they actually being pretty damn obvious is super awkward.

3. Enough is never enough.

Having good intentions and trying to help and encourage people is great, but the time will come when some will expect more. You didn't answer an email, or provide enough support, or give them the answer to losing weight. It's hard to not be discouraged by complaints about free help. I put time and effort into sharing my personal plans on my blog and Facebook groups, there is no secret to my weight loss - I've told you everything. I hate that I feel guilty for not helping someone fully, but I legit just don't have it in me after working a full time job and everything else.

4. Your opinion is not enough.

You better be crazy sure about every single thing you post, even after spelling out the fact that you're not a professional anything, because if you are wrong you will get scathing emails or comments. Simmer down folks, simmer down now.

5. Staying true to you.

This is one of the hardest parts about blogging, no one wants to read about your fake life, my goal is to be who I am in real life online as well. My humor is sometimes misread so I have to be careful when that doesn't translate well on the world wide web.

I miss House!

Now, I'm being a little negative Nancy about it and there are some really good sides to blogging.

1. Making new friends.

This is hands down the number one reason I keep blogging. I love meeting new people and making friends who have the same goals as I do. I've met countless people who lift me up and inspire me to be a better person every single day. The group chats are sometimes my daily therapy from the crazy.

2. Keeping yourself accountable.

This may only really be true for a fitness/weightloss blog, but it's nice to have a place to 'check in' and keep my momentum going!

3. Free stuff.

The free stuff is pretty nice, obviously I'm a girl in lust with clothing and I get some pretty good items on the regular. While I hardly make any money on my blog, the clothing and accessory allowance is quite nice for now!

INSTAGRAM/FACEBOOK/PINTEREST

Subscriptions Updates

Happy hump day, had to throw on a bit of pink today { Hazel and Olive }  << they have a store front 10 minutes from my house, lucky me :) Remnants of my birthday still linger around my office, balloons and flowers, they make me so happy I may start buying flowers once a week for my desk.

I wanted to share something I've been using for the past month and absolutely love. Like, a lot. I'm actually hesitant to share this because I'm sure I'll be bombarded with soliciting emails, but I'm glad I took a chance on it so....

I was using Biotin for my hair, but I had several comments from people telling me to try the ItWorks supplement. Well Lauren was nice enough to send me one to try before I committed, I've been using it for a month now. I added in two capsules every night after dinner, thanks to my huge pill minder I'm very consistent on taking my supplements every single day. The first thing I noticed was my nails, they legit have never looked better, I'm pretty rough on them and I prefer them to be short, but I've had to file them at least once a week to keep them that way. My hair has also improved, my baby hairs are crazy long around my temples, it feels fuller, and I've noticed a lot of growth in a short amount of time. This is the ONLY product I've tried from them and no I do not want to try any wraps. I ordered more, signed up for auto ship, which makes it around 33 bucks. I wasn't too happy to pay for shipping, but I'm impressed with the results so I'm going to give it 3 more months and see how I continue to like it.

Sunnies via FarOut {code skinnymeg makes 'em dirt cheap}

I need to tame the baby hairs and don't let his smile fool you, this little guy was the biggest turd yesterday :) He doesn't always have a bad day, but when he does, whewwwwwwwwww watch out! He'll legit throw a bottle at you....repeatedly. 

My last Ipsy bag was full of good stuff, but I really loved the shimmer gold Pixi for my eyes and the coral blush!  Nothing says HELLO spring like a pretty blush and lipstick, I still highly recommend the Ipsy bag I'm rarely disappointed for 10 bucks a month.

My I'm Pretty Fit box for March was full of greatness! BCAA's that I can drink during my workouts > They provide muscular energy during your workouts, and help replenish your muscles for faster recovery post-workout. Smore's Protein - enough said. Honey Badger - keeping in my car for quick water mixes when I'm needing them!

Vanilla Ice Cream protein that I'm going to put to good use making this.... via Allison R.

The macros listed are off - FYI.

I need to make this happen over the weekend, it's perfect Fo-Yo weather and it's COOKIE BUTTER. I'm already drooling. It would be the perfect post soccer snack, granted the sun stays out and dries up the lakes on the field.

INSTAGRAM/FACEBOOK/PINTEREST

Soulful Eyes

 Do you ever meet someone and instantly know you are going to be friends? I didn't know instantly, but for sure by the end of the first 5 mile run we went on where she talked my love language of macros and fitness and I was dying to keep up with her pace, and then she told me that she ran on rest days. I knew she was my spirit animal. 

She has a heart of gold and a banging bod, she also really knows her way around a kitchen, which is why I almost squealed with delight when she brought me protein pancakes for my post workout meal today, not only cooked but sent me the macros for it. She even put a bow on the silverware, how freaking cute is that?! Anyways, I have a little girl crush and thought I'd share, thank you so much Elizabeth! 

Also if you live in Dallas you need to try her cake pops, 3.8f / 10c / .9p those are some low macros which means you can have two :) 

**********************************************************************************

My Mom made me the best present yesterday, a FlipGram of me when I was little put to Tim McGraw music. It brought back so many good memories, then I saw this, me at 15. This was when I really started to gain weight, depression or teenage angst I don't really know caused me to eat my feelings. I got really emotional seeing this picture, being heavy as a teenager is so hard, it affected my life in so many ways. There were things I refused to do with friends, activities I wouldn't participate in, and I always felt so damn uncomfortable in my own skin. I remember staring into the mirror one night so disgusted with myself, but I just wished the weight away and never put any action to it.

One year after Madison and one year after Aiden

Having a daughter changed me forever, it was time to put action to my wishes not only for me, but for her. She'll never remember me heavier except from pictures. I'm sure my life might seem full and crazy to many of you, but this little sweaty person inside of me has been let out and can not be stopped. She thrives on pushing herself and sharing her excitement for the progress and goals she wants to meet. I do what works for me, no you don't have to weigh your food or get up 6 days a week for a 90 minute workout, but those are the things I love. I got tired of being uncomfortable in my skin, I want a body I work hard for, so that's exactly what I do every single day. 

**********************************************************************************

You know you have the best photographer when you can message her the day after you take pictures and beg for two shots because you bought a canvas deal online that expires tomorrow :)

I mean, this HAS to go up on the wall, that baby smile and diva hip pose are killing me!! My PinkSlate Boutique dress is freaking perfect, love love love love.

I can't decide which one of these I love best for the other canvas, what would you choose?

This child has the most soulful eyes. "Let my soul smile through my heart and my heart smile through my eyes, that I may scatter rich smiles in sad hearts."

INSTAGRAM/FACEBOOK/PINTEREST

Birthday Weekend and Half Marathon PR.

I love when old people use slang, like when my Mom said  'amazing balls' instead of amazeballs, it really does not have the same ring to it. Also, I think that word should die, it's had it's cycle. I can always count on her for a good laugh :)

Oliver had the day off Saturday so we had a day of family togetherness where I make him run around and do stuff with me. He'd probably choose to stay home and watch movies, but it's my birthday weekend so he did it with a smile. We slept in until 7, ate some breakfast, then headed down to the Rock N Roll expo to pick up my packet.

We walked the expo for a little bit, I don't feel it was as good as years past, but I don't need to be buying any pretty shiny workout toys anyways. Then Madison declared she was about to die of hunger and the baby started to cry, our cue to exit the building.

We went to Panera for lunch, I could eat there every day and be happy! They have a new dish, the Broth Bowls, filled with kale, quinoa, and chicken and I got a half a power hummus chicken salad. Next we headed over to see Oma {Oliver's Mom} she just got back in town and Madison was begging to go see her, Aiden was tired so we ended up leaving him there to nap while we took Madison to see Cinderella, which I FREAKING loved! I want her hair, the messy braids and curls, YouTube videos are out for it I'm sure.

When we got home I was excited to see my running shoes had come in, a month or so ago I tried a different pair of Newtons {Distance III}, but they just weren't as good for my feet on longer runs. I went ahead an reordered the ones I used for my marathon training {Newton Running Women's Gravity III } and I'll use the less loved ones for my shorter runs. I wouldn't recommended getting new shoes the day before a race, but I've run a ton in these so no harm in staying with the same brand and type. I also made an Advo run for Rehydrate Gel {my favorite midrun fuel}, Catalyst {I take 3 before every workout they are BCAA's}, and some Muscle Fuel preworkout for leg day Monday. The muscle fuel is a little pricy so I'm only using it for leg day and switching it around with my C4 {upper body} and Spark {run days}.

My go to pre-race carb loading dinner, potato, chicken, cheese, salsa, and sour cream.

I decided to take Dart downtown instead of driving and happily got to ride down with 3 friends! So much better than traffic and stressing about parking down there.

We had plenty of time to use the restroom twice, bag check, and take a few pictures before the race. My goal was to PR as many of you know, I was very nervous to see if I had it in me. It can be nerve racking to put yourself out there for the world to see and have to come back and say it didn't happen. Not that any one of you would judge me for not reaching that goal, it's more pressure I put on myself. I wore my Garmin, which I rarely do, and looking back I don't think it was the best idea. I was obsessively checking my pace, trying to stay around an 8:45, but I would go under bridges and come out running a 6:50, obviously wrong, and then stress my watch was off.

They had a selfie station set up and lots of cool things along the route that I didn't get to enjoy cause I was straight booking it to the finish. I was also running alone and there were times I knew I had more in me if I had someone else there pushing me. That's what's great about a running partner, you can push each other to your limits. After the hill at mile 12 I lost a little steam and had a hard time getting my sprint on, but I did it - I PR'd with a 1:56 and I'm pretty damn proud of myself!!! I get up at 5am to better my body and my attitude, I can say I'm happy with who I am, I make myself proud. Self love is important ;) That's why I love to run, the pride I get by just doing my best.

After I dazedly walked to the post race area I foam rolled while I waited for everyone else to finish and it helped TREMENDOUSLY! I was barely sore today. I sipped on water and waited for my stomach to settle before we walked over and got our beer.

The best part for me was watching the people who are running this for fun, with their friends, or their family, dressed alike or in tutus with matching hats. They had a screen set up over the stage and I almost started to cry seeing their smiling faces coming over that finish line! You don't need to be fast or a crazy runner to do races, everyone does them just for fun or the pride in saying they did 13.1 miles. My friends all crossed that finish line and we headed home.

I had some birthday surprises waiting for me!! I had hoped to be home by Noon, but didn't get home until 1:30 and we had to leave by 2:15 to be at the arboretum for family pictures. Yikes. I don't even know how I did it, but I got myself ready, curled my {dirty} hair, curled Madison's hair and yelled at Oliver to get everything packed and ready in the car. Poppy Locks {Elizabeth for real people} was a doll and delivered Aiden's smash cake to my house.

The flower garland I found at Charming Charlies, it was just perfect on her sweet face!!

 

The weather was just perfect, 70 and sunny, the flowers were in full bloom and Aiden took the best family picture right out of the gate - one shot wonder that kid is! Amber Jane Images is who I use and gah, she always get the best shots. Just WAIT until you see the one of Madison, not enough heart eye emoji's to go around. 

Then we headed to my Mom's for my birthday party, she cooked my favorite meal of potato and chicken with broccoli and got my the Strawberry cake I requested from Spoons.

She threw my Dad's name on there too since his birthday was Friday, but we all know it was a giant pink Megan cake. That cake was amazing.

and they all lived happily ever after.
The End.

INSTAGRAM/FACEBOOK/PINTEREST