I feel the need to burn all my bras! I've spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on bras from sizes 40F to a 32C. I've dropped 100+ bucks on a single bra in hopes that it would make me feel more comfortable with my breasts.
I started to develop breasts in the 4th grade, I remember very clearly the day I was made fun of for not wearing a bra. I was pissed I had to wear one, growing boobs was embarrassing and I hated that I had more than most of the girls in my class. I enjoyed sports up until my boobs were too big and I was embarrassed to run with them bouncing everywhere.
For most of my life I felt like people saw my breasts before they saw me - there was no hiding them. I had to limit the clothing I could wear, I had to shop in special places to find bras that fit me.
When I finally decided to try to lose weight for my wedding I thought it would solve my problems.
I lost 50 pounds, but unfortunately you can't pick where that weight will come off of and I still had to spend an outrageous amount on a corset from a specialty store to hold them up in my dress.
They weren't all bad, they served me well while breastfeeding my children, which I am thankful for! It's a wonder no children suffocated during it though - shoot I thought I would suffocate when I laid down with those huge boobs on me.
Over the years as I've lost more and more weight my breasts have shrunken, which makes me happy, but no less uncomfortable with them. They are like little cups of jello - moving and spilling out of every opening in my bras. I literally have my hands in my bras 37 times a day adjusting. I'm constantly looking down at them to see if they are where they should be.
I've always said when I was done having babies I would get them fixed and I did start seriously saving my pennies after I had Aiden. We had a few setbacks, but finally the time has come and I'm getting them this Friday!! At first I was hesitant to share my excitement for them, it seemed a little shallow of me, but then I got to thinking about how much agony and grief I've felt over these stupid breasts over the years.
I felt unsure how to talk about it with Madison, she's old enough to know what's going on and while I don't want to hide anything from her I wanted to talk about it in a way she would understand. I felt a tad guilty that I couldn't be happy with my body the way it was, but you know what? I've done my work on my body, I've showed her how important it is to take care of yourself. I've showed her that I can be happy at any size and my breasts are just something that I can't fix with diet and exercise.
I've been waiting for this for years and I'm excited to have boobs I like in a nice normal size. Ones I don't have to shove back in my bra. Ones that don't hit the counter when I bend over.