Negative Self Talk.

#TBT of my Mom and I in Colorado 
My Mom and I were having a conversation the other day, she said my Dad asked if she was an artist now, she replied of course she was, but why was he asking? He didn't know, it just popped in his head because she was doing so many different art projects. She told me 'I don't need anyone to tell me I'm good at crafting, I know I am' LOL. 

I've always heard that girls get their self confidence from their fathers, but I think it's pretty clear I get mine from my Mother. My Father was one of four boys, growing up without sisters means he isn't always sensitive to a woman feelings, not on purpose, but says things jokingly that are not always funny. 

More than anything else I teach this girl, you have got to have confidence in yourself, it will help her in so many areas of her life. Hopefully it will steer her in a path of being a leader and not succumbing to peer pressure. You don't have to be the best or the prettiest or the thinnest, but you do have to own your actions and reactions to situations and people, be confident in what you stand for, KNOW what you stand for. 

I teach my kids by example, I could talk until I'm blue in the face, but maybe they will hear me and maybe it's background noise. I face my fears, I do things I'm scared of, I trust my gut. In my marriage Oliver tends to be the more negative one and I'm the more positive, sometimes he does it and honestly doesn't even realize he's doing it until I point it out. It's hard to change who we are, even for the good of our kids. That's why God put us together, to balance each other out. I'm the pusher and Oliver's the puller, he needs me to bump him out of his comfort zone and I need to be reeled back in when I get overly excited. 

So many times women are the worst at negative self talk, mostly about their body. I don't look good, I have fat rolls, I have cellulite, I have lumps, I have stretch marks. Yes, those are all imperfections and we all know that most women have all of those things too. Why do we feel the need to qualify how we look to others, no one except you cares about your stretch marks or cellulite. If you are always airing your negative thoughts about your body to others, that's going to make them feel uncomfortable or even worse, bad about their own body. They are going to compare themselves to you and if you are talking badly about your flaws then theirs must be even worse. 

Like Madison says, THAT'S A PROBLEM. When women talk about lifting each other up, it starts with your actions to yourself. It's easy to say LOVE YOURSELF, but if you are in a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings towards you, how do you change it? Would you do it for your kids? For your husband? For your friends?

Dress from Ollie Marie, necklace here.
Of course I have things about my body and my personality I don't love, but I don't focus on them. I take steps every. single. day. to make myself feel good about me, that's not selfish, that's taking care of me as a person. It doesn't have to be a physical things, maybe you need time to yourself, maybe you need girl time with some friends, maybe a date night with your husband, just something that makes you feel good. 


  1. Needed to read this today, Thank you!

  2. Needed to read this today, Thank you!

  3. Well said, friend - and a good reminder :)

  4. I needed this today! Thank you :-)

  5. So needed this today. Thank you for being a positive person and showing us anything is possible.

  6. Love love love this post! Totally hit home for me. You are such an inspiration.

  7. Spot on! I'm guilty of this when it comes to my own flaws. Thanks for the reminder. Keep doin' you! Btw you look amazing in that dress!

  8. I've followed you for 3 years and this is by far my favorite post of yours. I completely agree. I think kids, especially girls NEED positive influence from parents in order to have self confidence.

  9. I've followed you for 3 years and this is by far my favorite post of yours. I completely agree. I think kids, especially girls NEED positive influence from parents in order to have self confidence.

  10. What a wonderful post!! It is ALL so true!

  11. I am especially careful when talking about image or feelings around my little girls. This is spot on! No way do I want to influence negative opinions when they are going to get it from so many other people in the world. My dad used to regularly make fun of my weight when I was little (& still in my adult years when I've gained a few)- I absolutely hate that and would hate for my girls to think they are judged by their appearance!

  12. 🙌🏻 I feel like this was something I could've written. My marriage is the same way. I'm more positive, my husband is more negative. But we balance out.
    I also want to teach my kids that they can be and do anything. It all starts with believing they can.
    Well done. And if say you're a great example for Madison 😘


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