2.26.2015

Grumpy Girls


 This year, more than any year before, I've struggled with parenting. She's at an age now that she actually listens to what I say, repeats it, and I'm sure is storing it tight in her memory to pull and and use against me when she's 15 and pissed because I won't let her wear short shorts. Questions, so many questions, every single day and not just about important things, but just anything. I think she may just love listening to herself talk, it's hard to tell. 


I have to be very mindful of my verbiage around her, words like 'diet' I try to steer clear of.  We talk about things that are healthy and things that are ok, but only in moderation. I don't want her to obsess about food, but I also want her to have knowledge of how to pick healthy items. She hasn't really asked me questions about weighing my food, but I don't make a big deal about it when I'm cooking. I've already thought about what to say when she does ask, it's just a way to measure food - like a measuring cup or tablespoon. 


 The pink tutu. Bless this sweet child's heart she has literally become obsessed with this skirt. It's become a security blanket for her and I don't really know why or if I should do anything about it. She's fine wearing a uniform to school, but literally asks to go straight home and put it on every single day. Yesterday I washed it and she checked the dryer about 45 times waiting for it to be done.


 Then we have Kinder drama, mean girls, and hurt feelings. I'm pretty shocked that this is already a situation, but almost every week it gets brought up at home and I've struggled with how to explain it to her in a way she'll understand. I told her not every one is going to be her friend, there are many different types of people in the world, some you will get along with and some you won't. Also, if a girl is mean to you it's probably not something you did, maybe they are just having a grumpy day, you know how sometimes you get put in time out for being sassy and have to change your mind? Everyone has grumpy days. I know she's young, but the girl drama is already breaking my heart. 

A video posted by Megan (@skinnymeg31) on

Raising a girl has proven to be exhausting so far, I want her to grow up with a pretty heart. I want her to be open minded. I want her to be confident in her abilities. I want her to stay 5 forever and ever.



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14 comments :

  1. Thanks for sharing these thoughts! I am pregnant with our first child and it's a girl. I often worry about the issues of bullying and teaching her how to be healthy. My mom did not teach me to see food in a healthy mindset and I hope that I can change that path for my girl. Nice to see other moms out there showing their girls how to live a well rounded life. Kudos to you and your hard work!

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  2. I had an incident with my 12 year old daughter that rocked my world. Girls are SO hard, but you're doing a great job and you're a great Mom. xoxo

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  3. I don't have kids myself, but I grew up living alone with my single mom for 20 years, during which time we had maybe 2-3 small disagreements. It just worked, very Gilmore Girls - style, and I think you and TS have a similar relationship to what we had. You may be scared now that she's storing away everything you say to use against you, but I can say at 26 and starting to think about having kids myself, all I can remember are all the ways my mom instilled confidence in me that it's ok when girls are mean to you, especially because we didn't have as much money as the more popular girls and I was the only kid in my friend group from a non-traditional family. She always taught me "confidence isn't getting everyone to like you. Confidence is being ok if they don't." Sometimes, girls are mean and grumpy, and I came home crying a lot from things certain ones said to me growing up, but I also know that having a mom like mine got me through it, and you'll get her through it too!

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  4. My oldest daughter is in first grade. Last year, Kindergarten, was interesting with the girl drama, for sure. This year is a little better as one of the main drama girls from last year, isn't in her class. After a lot of talking about situations at the start of school in Kindergarten, I found that my daughter really seemed to understand when I would just reason that when someone was being mean or not playing nicely that they were just 'having a bad day'. So when someone was having a bad day & not playing nicely then it was smart to just move on & find some other classmates & friends who were having a better day. That it wasn't anything that she had done. That sometimes people just have bad days. But as we grow older, we learn better ways at handling our bad days & better at not taking it out on our friends and classmates. Until that happens, we just encouraged her to shake it off & find classmates that were happier & having better days to play with. That seemed to work well with helping her not worry about it too much.

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  5. Ahhh... this is terrifying. My girl is 3 and I already worry about all those things too. I think if we just do the best we can and love them and show them how to act towards others they will see what is right. Good luck!!!

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  6. I also want to add that my daughters are 4 years apart (6.5 & 2.5). As my youngest has become mobile, talkative & more of a kid instead of a baby, they have started to play more like siblings & equals instead of older sibling & baby, if that makes sense. So my oldest has gotten better at dealing with the drama too now that her younger sister brings a lot of that to the table! lol! So as Baby A becomes more of a toddler, she will gain some of that relationship experience too, I am sure. I am the oldest of 4 & I think that the arguments that I had with my siblings growing up really helped me with my people skills and being tolerant of others. That there are more than one way to think about things or to do things. Confidence to dance to the beat of my own drum :)

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  7. The best advice I can give is that each age/milestone has it's own amazing HIGHS ....and lows. Each age presents a different set of amazing achievements and moments. At the same time, I like to think the lows counter act the highs in a way that balances our lives. They challenge us and our children to develop coping skills they will need for the rest of their lives. If there is ONE thing I could get my children to understand it's that I literally FEEL their emotions just as intensely as they do. I would even propose I feel them more intensely because I am so helpless to

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  8. Omg I totally understand the little girl drama! My daughter just turned five but even when she was 4 she told me mom why do I have a big belly? I just want to take it off she said :0( It just broke my heart I definately try my best to build her up as much as I can because eventually the world tries to tear us down. I have just been praying alot for her and my 2 sons that they will be confident no matter what and not be afraid to stand out from the crowd.

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  9. With 4 girls, I know the struggle of "girl drama". I can't believe how young it starts either. Crazy!
    I do love her tutu though :) I have a daughter that loves you wearing clothes on repeat lol I've never let her, but maybe I should.

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  10. First grade was the worst for girl drama for my daughter. Second grade wasn't as bad but it was still something we had to deal with. She is in third grade now and it has stopped completely. It was always " she played with me yesterday and now she's friends with so & so and wont play with me." Her first grade teacher told me that it was perfectly normal and it is a developmental milestone they all go through. They are becoming aware of others and how they make each other feel. Its normal....painful yes, but a normal part of development. Hang in there mama, she's a wonderful kid with equally wonderful parents!

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  11. My little girl just turned 5 and I too stear clear of the words "fat", "diet", etc. She knows that I teach at the gym and workout but I use words like "healthy" and "strong". She doesn't yet love chicken breasts and salads but she will try new things. She has caught on to me weighing food though. As I was putting groceries away last night she was using the word "grams" when referring to some food. I want her to see that I have a healthy relationship with food even if that means weighing it out. I'm so glad we aren't to the "mean girls" at school stage yet but she has gotten socked in the face by a little boy and this is pre-k. Not quite sure what these children are seeing at home or how they are treated but it's quite sad that it carries over into how they treat others. - Christy

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  12. We had girl drama when my daughter was in the third grade. It was actually caused by an incident I got into with one of her friend's mothers and not because of the girls. However, the momma talked openly about our issues around her daughter which lead her child to calling me a bad mother in front of my precious 8 year old. That was devastating for her because she didn't understand why her friend would say bad things about me. With girls, I've found, that mother drama becomes an issue as well because we mothers tend to become friends when our kids our friends. I'm glad to have a boy in the mix and have found I'm not as close with his friends' mothers(or I've been guarding myself because of the above incident). Why can't we all just be friends??!! Fortunately, the DD has turned into a sweet, caring, confident 13 year old although the mood swings are super fun once Aunt Flo comes along. At least she has a since of humor about it! Hang in there. Keep it light and funny and teach her how to "shake it off"!

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  13. Who says parenting is easy ..... but hey your kids, my kids,any-ones kids are special - they are our future !

    LOVE them

    CHERISH them

    SUPPORT them

    LISTEN to them

    HUG them

    ENJOY them

    LOVE them .... that's important I've said it twice.

    In a blink of an eye they will be grown up and you'll be loving not only your children but (hopefully) your grandchildren and that is so precious.

    Have a good week ahead

    All the best Jan

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  14. https://www.facebook.com/secretkeepergirl
    amazing resource for raising girls (I have 4 daughters) they have books and also a live event for moms and daughters too

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