Hi! First things first, thank you so much Megan for asking me to guest post on her blog and allowing me the opportunity to share my journey with so many others who may or may not be experiencing the same things I have along the way! I’ve struggled with weight most of my life and have always sought comfort in all the delicious things!
I love food, like I REALLY love food! In the past it would have been nothing for me to make the 20 min. drive to the closest grocery store, buy a cookie cake, and eat the whole thing! In 2010 my now husband proposed to me and I was determined to not be a 245lb size 22 bride! I didn’t want photo evidence of that and I certainly didn’t want the biggest day of my life (up until that point) to also be one of my most humbling and embarrassing.
So, from Sept. of 2010 until Oct. of 2011, I “dieted” and I ran…and I ran some more…I ran so much and ate so little I lost 100lbs! Yay, awesome right? No, I was miserable! 1200 calories a day (sometimes less) and endless hours of cardio was a completely unrealistic lifestyle for me and apparently life had something else in mind because , uhh HELLO, honeymoon baby! Yup, can we say JACKPOT! You mean to tell me, I just spent the last year hardly eating any food and killing myself in the gym and running circles around the park and now I can eat ALL THE THINGS and stop running! Heck Yes! Sign me up! I spent the next 10 months eating all the foods that I had deprived myself of for the last year! Pizza, burgers, fries, ice cream, icing (don’t judge) , cookies, and so much more!
I used my pregnancy as an excuse to eat myself all the way to 267lbs! I can remember crying when I failed my first glucose test and going to get a milkshake to help ease the pain. My pregnancy was miserable and I hated every second of it, but on August 16th, 2012 Harper came into this world like the diva she is and now I could start my weight loss journey again. Or so I thought, I struggled for the next 6 months with post-partum depression. I was up. I was down…I was all over the place. My weight didn’t budge if anything it climbed higher and I was too afraid to step on a scale and face the reality of it! To make things even better I was diagnosed with PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome) and it made losing weight incredibly difficult. My Dr. wanted me to go on Metformin (an insulin controlling medicine) and go on a “diabetic” type diet!
My world was crashing! My marriage was failing, and I was just told having another child would be incredibly difficult (Kick me when I’m down). Some days I wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. I spent most of my mornings fighting with my husband and following it up with an all-day binge. Only to destroy any and all of the evidence before he got home from work! I sought comfort in all the wrong places and if something didn’t change I was going to lose everything I had always wanted. December 2013, I hadn’t lost any weight, my husband and I were spending ridiculous amounts of money in counseling and we were one fight away from a divorce and I was still MISERABLE. I needed a new purpose.
I stopped working when Harper was born to become a stay at home mom. Every day was the same thing. Wake up, take care of the baby, make dinner, and go to bed. Sprinkle in laundry, dishes, and all the other things we do as stay at home parents and before I knew it I had become a robot. I had all the opportunity in the world to be successful at weight loss again because I had time and lots of it. I knew that if this was going to work and be a lifestyle not a diet I needed to find something that was maintainable and worked.
January of 2014 was my breaking point. It started as a New Year’s Resolution and just transformed into what it is now. Through hours and hours of research I found IIFYM. It seemed perfect for me. So, if I want pizza I can eat pizza? This seems legit and something I can get on board with. Love at first sight! It was a lifestyle that was made for me. I spent most of January tweaking my numbers and getting my “diet” in order. I probably only lost 5 or so lbs. in the first month but, 5 lbs. is 5 lbs. ya feel me? I started to feel confident in my eating and knew it was time to add in some form of exercise.
Listen, I’ve done it all. Zumba..certified.. TRX…. tangled up in ropes… Long distance running… hate it. I started lifting and again, love at first squat! I LOVE to lift! I pick things up and I put them down! I carried a notebook around that gym for the first three months until I was comfortable enough to just wing it. I watched other people in the gym and learned from them. They are my biggest resource and I still pull inspiration from others and how they perform. Heck yes I’m a gym creeper and it truly has helped me learn and gain the courage to try new things!
The weight started to come off and things started to fall into place again. I was becoming happy again, I was finding out who I was finally and most importantly my family was becoming whole again. I spent day after day week after week in the gym. I have good days and I have bad days but I am always 100% committed to this process. I've learned to not let one bad decision snowball into ten others and I've learned success doesn't happen overnight. One slice of pizza won't make me "fat" and one apple won't make me "skinny".
This past summer I enjoyed more vacations and beach photo ops than I have in my entire life and I can't believe what I have been holding myself back from for so long! Who would have known that all the bad in my life was in direct relation to my weight? I sure didn't! September of this year I decided I wanted to go back to work and I would be lying if I told you I wasn't horrified by the thought of managing life , work and my new love for the gym.. When would I go? When would I see Zack and Harper?
I could have made a million excuses and given up but I didn't and I won't! I now wake up at 4 a.m. to hit the gym early and to ensure I don't miss a minute of quality time with my family in the evenings. I want this more than anything and I think that's why this journey has become less of "have to" and more of a "want to" and that has transformed my attitude! Fall in love with the process and the process will treat you right. I have my faults and I'm certainly not a pro by any means. I don't prep all my meals for the week, I don't live on brown rice and chicken and if I want a cookie I eat a cookie. I am simply a woman who was ready to start living her life the way it was meant to be and found a solution that worked for her. A normal woman doing normal things to live the extraordinary life she deserves.
I'm happy to say I have lost 117lbs in the past year. I have gone from a size 22 to a size 6 and most importantly I have my life back and I can fully enjoy it with the people who love me most! My story will never have an ending, I'll always be stuck somewhere in the middle constantly fighting for the best Molly there is!
Molly - dang girl! That's pretty much all I can say about that, oh and I'm totally crushing on your legs! THANK YOU so much for sharing your story, I'm completely inspired by you.
If you would like to connect with Molly you can follow her on Instagram >>> @happyhungryfit