11.13.2014

Don't Ask Me.


If you walked into my house you would probably hear one of these phrases;
"Madison, don't pick up your brother'
'Yes, you need to wear underwear'
"Madison don't squeeze him so tight'
'Madison be gentle he's just a baby'
'Yes, you can hug him - gentlyyyyy'

This girl loves him so much she can't contain it and is all over the poor boy, it's a wonder he's crawling at all. I have two younger brothers myself and apparently I would talk for them all the time, just my bossy nature I guess.

 

This little chunk is sure she hung the moon, he finds nothing funnier than her blowing her nose, or listening to her off key singing in the car - which she records on her iPad for playback at anytime. 


Madison still refuses to wear pants so I've ordered a million pairs of warm tights for the winter and then realized that she didn't own one long sleeved collared shirt. So far wearing a uniform has not been cheaper or easier, she still argues about WHICH dress she is going to wear, and I just spent another 75 bucks ordering long sleeved shirts and sweaters. 

I have to admit it's a bit stressful having a Kindergartener because all I see on Facebook is how kids her age are reading, doing math, and winning the Nobel Peace prize {slight exaggeration}. She gets good reports daily and I know she's keeping up with her class, but I wonder - is it enough? I feel like all my friends are teachers and have some knowledge on how to teach their kids, I'm over here like - what's a sight word?? 

Dress from Lolly Wolly Doodle
It can really make me feel like a crap parent some days. As much as I tell myself not to compare myself to others I have to remember that goes for parenting too. Sometimes I can't even go to the Mom online groups I'm part of because they make me feel insecure, some of these Mom's can tell you about anything concerning children, how in the heck do they know so much? Did I not get the manual? I'm more of a wing it and see how it goes kinda Mom. 


I read an interesting article about the 'Perfect Husband' and it really got me thinking about my own situation. Oliver is totally the 'where is she' Dad, his first and foremost thought when he gets off work is Madison. In fact we are in a temporary situation where he is getting off work at 2:30 every day so he can pick her up from school and then he has both her and Aiden until I get home from work at 6:30. He's used to being able to play and do whatever he wants with her, but with Aiden being a crawler now and more needy, he can't do as much. We actually had to have a discussion about not putting Madison's needs before everyone else. My friends are always envious of the close relationship they have, but adding another child has been harder on him than anyone else. I won't say he puts me last on his list, but I guess in all honesty he might. It really doesn't bother me though, I feel loved and I feel secure in our marriage. He supports me in everything I do and still tries to grab my butt when I bend over ;) I just thought it was an interesting point of view, maybe a lot of Dad's actually feel this way about their wives?


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22 comments :

  1. I can relate. I have two boys, 7 and almost 3. I always thought that babies/toddlers were so hard and exhausting. My oldest never really attended much preschool, we had grandparents who adored their first grandchild and would spend every second spoiling him rotten. Then school started, like you he can keep up but nobody told me how much school has changed. I remember finger painting, snack, nap time...there is none of that anymore. School is so stressful and there is so much pressure on those little ones. Now my oldest is in 2nd grade and it's hardcore and I feel sorry for the guy. All the other mom's seem to have well behaved, calm and smart little cookies...then there's my energetic boy. I find myself also backing away from other groups, feel like I'm being judged. If there was a manual I missed getting a copy too! If you get your hands on it please share! Hang in there! School is exhausting for all involved!

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  2. My first child is in kindergarten and some nights I don't even understand his homework :-/
    Some of my girlfriends and I joke that we are "just ok" moms, because everyday our goal is survival.
    I don't know what I'll do when my 15 month old is in school and I have to juggle 2 sets of homework!!!

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  3. You are a terrific-fabulous-outstanding mom. Period. Please know that I have felt this way too. And it passed. Then I felt it again. And it passed. So don't worry about it. Keep doing what you're doing because your kids are happy, you and your husband are happy, and that equals perfection in my book.
    xoxo
    Rachel

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  4. Hahahaha! Girl I am with you! I had to google word blends because when my sons teacher sent home a note he need to work on them! So not a teacher!!! Our kids may not be the smartest BUT that doesn't mean we don't LOVE them and want to do what is best for them!

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  5. http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5621485

    Love this article. Former kindergarten teacher. Puts it all into perspective.

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  6. I imagine how you feel when you're reading those mom forums is how I feel about my fitness efforts when I read your blog. I'm over like is butter a carb and you're counting macros and carrying a running store in a bag in your trunk ;)

    But for real, I think I might be last too in the pecking order of Daddy's heart?!? I know it's not "on purpose" and like you I feel secure and loved, but I used to be more of a going concern with him before the kiddos, ya know??

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  8. fav blog because you are real! obviously the cute kids help;)

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  9. I wouldn't worry too much about your mothering. It looks like you are doing a great job. You're not going to know much about sight words and what not unless you are a teacher or your child's teacher has sent info home on that. When I taught kindergarten, we sent home sight words for the children to learn (we studied them in class too). They are just common words that you have the children memorize so they can read them on "sight" without having to sound them out. Then they can use their energy to work on the harder words. Words like the, and, a, where, what, etc. Just thought I would throw that out there. But you are doing a great job. Your kids seem happy and healthy and loved. Those are the most important things. :)

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  10. She's a lovely child, funny, happy, loves her brother...you must be doing something right.

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  11. Don't worry about your parenting skills, you're doing a great job! If you want to try and give her some extra help, get some flash cards and some cheap workbooks and let her "teach" Aiden. She'll have a ball he will love the attention and it will introduce her to some sight words and all that other stuff. Added bonus is the baby will pick up some of the stuff, we have a bit of second child syndrome and i swear my daughter has taught her brother more stuff than i have lol.

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  12. Oh I feel you! My daughter is in kindergarten too, and I am actually able to volunteer once a week. And wouldn't you know, I help all the kids with their sight words, mostly quiz them on the words. You would be surprised at the differences at that age. Some kids are on their 4th list, while some kids only know about 3 words! You can definitely tell whose parents actually work with them. I know that my daughter needs me to constantly quiz her before her lightbulb goes off. You'll get the hang of it. Just work with her every night or every couple of nights!

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  13. I have a question about Adien's Necklace. Does it wear it because he is teething? Is it an amber necklace? My friend(mommy) was asking about amber necklaces for her baby. I was always curious about why he wears a necklace. Figured it was for a reason. Sorry if this question seems strange.

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  14. I read that same article & I'm glad to say I definitely don't have the perfect husband. However, I do have a very spoiled, needy, only child. She is most definitely queen of the castle & we've been laying down the law with her a lot more lately as we prepare to have a second baby. Fingers crosses she adjusts as well as Madison has.

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  15. Oh love you sound like you are stressing... Hang in there!
    Did Madison's teacher send home sight word list or flash cards? We made flash cards for my son so he can practice even for 5-10 minutes a day. There should be 100 words she'll need to know before the end of the year.. Also as far as reading, my son wasn't pushed until 1st grade. Now he reads to us a book every night - usually takes about 10-15 minutes depending how many words he doesn't know. In the last month or so his reading has improved alot. Also, since you mentioned she has an ipad - there is an app called Raz-kids, it helps them to read.

    Just hang in there. I know it's not easy and it can be very stressful. I am a preschool teacher and sometimes I still don't understand what my son is doing in school..

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  16. My boys were uniforms to school as well, and they REFUSED to wear long-sleeve uniform shirts. Instead, we would layer. If they had an under armour shirt or even a long-sleeved t-shirt, they would wear that under their regular short-sleeve uniform shirts. That could be cute for Madison as well. Especially if she's allowed to wear pink or purple uniform shirts, maybe she could layer a patterned long-sleeve tee underneath and you won't have to spend extra for the long school stuff - just buy her long sleeve every day stuff and layer.

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  17. I am so happy to hear that Madison took to her big brother so well.
    I know when I was younger, my aunt was expecting her first grand baby. Dude, I freaked out!!!! It break both of our hearts...lol
    Madison just has style like her momma ;)
    I personally think it's freaking adorable to hear how well your husband does with the kids, I mean "daddy's little girl" & its great to hear.
    You have your little man, perfect relationship right there..lol

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  18. Dear Megan, I have to tell you, I think you are a great mom. From the way you talk about "spoiling but not allowing her/them to ACT spoiled", to your "yes parent" style and how engaged you are in their well being AND your own.
    You are honestly a mom that I aspire to be. We too spoil our kids but expect them to be polite to EVERYONE, regardless. And we also give them chores (our kids are 8,6 and 3) BUT I always feel like I'm telling them "no" too much. I actually have to remind myself to calm down and let them experience life and make their own decisions for a while before getting involved.
    I say, GO YOU!!
    And just make sure you and Oliver get a little alone time and able to communicate your needs as a married couple!

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  19. I have 3 (as you know) and I still feel like I'm just winging it. I have a dear friend who seriously knows EVERYTHING. I call her the super mom, because she truly is. She goes all out for birthdays, knows which books are age appropriate for any stage, what cleaners get out which stains, what medicines are best for what colds, when to go to the doctor, she spends time doing homework with her kids,had regularly schedule dates to take her eldest two to theatrical plays every month. I mean come on! LOL

    All I can do is admire her and try not to let myself feel inferior, because the truth is I know my strengths lie elsewhere. I may not be a "pinterest mom", but my kids know I love them and I'm pretty dang good at other things, including baking sweet chocolate chip cookies and making up some pretty awesome bedtime stories. Just keep telling yourself "my strengths lie elsewhere". And by the way I think you are a great mom, and your kids are super lucky .

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  20. An instructive post. People to really know who they want to reach and why or else, they'll have no way to know what they're trying to achieve. People need to hear this and have it drilled in their brains..
    For healthy living Healthy Food and Healthy Eating ,daily diet plays an important role. To get healthy and fit a proper and balanced, diet is necessary.
    Thanks for sharing this great article.

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  21. I didn't get the manual either. I have 2 daughters 5 and 2. For the man who never wanted to get married or have kids my husband does does pretty well. Him and my 5 yo are "Besties" I have actually had to have the "if you put even half as much effort into us as you do making her happy I'd be a much happier wife and mother" he just wants to give her the world and never see her sad, but kids need to experience those feelings too. We won't always be there to make it better

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