9.10.2014

My Story: Why I Left.


I'm skipping Workout Wednesday this week to talk about something personal, domestic abuse. All I  see when I open Facebook or turn on the radio is discussion about Ray Rice and his wife.  I can't help but be thankful for my life, this is #whyileft

I was 18 and knew it all, I didn't need any guidance from my parents. I was working as a waitress in a local bar and making decent money, had a lot of friends, and every day was a party. He was a regular in the bar because he worked just down the street, had a good job, was older, and was very attentive. Of course I said yes when he asked me out, I was flattered someone older than me would even take an interest.

It started out great - we went out every night drinking, staying up until all hours of the night with friends. I was young and free - not a worry in the world that summer after high school graduation. The warning signs soon followed, the first being jealousy. He didn't want me to talk to any guys and was very 'protective' over me, I thought it was sweet. 

Within in the first month we had many many fights, mostly because I couldn't 'behave' as he called it. This was my first real relationship, I didn't know any better, so when he asked me to move in with him I said yes. It became very apparent that he was an alcoholic, drinking every night after work, and finally losing his job due to the drinking. 

I remember the first time he hit me - he was upset because he wanted to go out with his friends to a bar, but it was his weekend to watch his kids {he had from a previous relationship} and I refused to stay home and watch them for him. He literally beat the shit out of me in front of them and left anyways. 

I called a friend to come over, but I just couldn't bring myself to leave. I was not getting along with my parents at the time and felt like I had no where to go. He made me feel like I needed him. He made me not believe in myself. He made me feel like it was my fault.

Of course the next day he was so sorry, he cried and begged me to forgive him and I always did. I thought he would change, I thought I could be better for him. Months went by, jobs couldn't be held, and the drinking continued. Fights were a weekly thing - anything could set him off. If he even THOUGHT I was looking at another guy he would flip, I learned to walk with my head bowed any time we were out.

He convinced me to move an hour away from Dallas with him to live with his Grandmother, I thought it would be a fresh start. We moved and both found jobs, things settled for a while, but the drinking finally came to a head. One night after drinking with friends, I got into a car with him and his brother who was also drunk and we crashed into a tree - I was in the backseat and when the car hit the tree the beer in the car exploded, but I thought it was blood and screamed so loud I thought I was going to deafen myself. Only by the Grace of God did I survive. I started to feel like I couldn't live this kind of life anymore.

The breaking point for me was a random Monday. We had been arguing over something all morning, but got into the car with his Grandmother to go somewhere. He started to hit me while we were in the backseat, beating me over the head. His Grandmother was telling me to stop screaming - blaming me for his actions. I couldn't take it anymore so I opened up the door of the moving car and flung myself out. For whatever reason they didn't stop and a teacher pulled up next to me and took me to her school so I could call my Mom to come and get me. That was the last time I saw him. 

If you would of asked me before all of this I would have adamantly told you that I would NEVER let a man lay a hand on me. I was STRONG. Until it happens to you, 'love' can make you stay, feelings of inadequacy can make you stay, feeling like you're alone can make you stay. 

All I can say is that I was saved, by Him. He gave me the courage to leave and to stay gone. While I remember this time in my life with sadness, I am stronger for it, but it was not without personal repercussions, but that's a story for another day.  




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45 comments :

  1. The more I learn about you, the more I respect and admire you. You are such a brave strong woman, thanks for sharing your story!

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  2. This takes an enormous amount of courage to share and I'm grateful that you have. Not that its any of our business, but I pray that it brings some light to someones situation and motivation to overcome. Thank you for sharing your life with your followers your so motivating!!

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  3. This seriously made me cry. So proud of you Megan!! What a brave, wonderfully strong woman you are. I can only imagine how hard it was for you to open up about this but I'm sure in doing so, you will help another woman be as brave as you were the day you left. Xoxox

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  4. As the previous lady posted, the more we learn about you, the more I love you! Thank you for sharing!!

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  5. Wow Megan, I'm sure that wasn't easy to write or share with the world... kudos to you for having the strength to leave, stay gone, and share this! xo

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  6. You are so brave. Tears are streaming down my face because I've been in your shoes and have never ever looked back. Thank you for sharing your story instead of being ashamed of it.

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  7. Meg, I'm so sorry you ever had to go through any of this. I'm so glad you got out of that! Great job! Thank you for sharing! My FB feed is actually not blowing up over this and it angers me that more people are not talking about this. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  8. Oh yea gosh I love you more! I had a very similar situation. It's crazy how you gradually get sucked in and looking back it's hard to think that was even me! Mine ended with him head butting me and giving me 2 black eyes. But it's like it literally knocked some sense into me!

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  9. Wow. What a story. I can't believe you went through all of that. Thank goodness you got away. It takes real strength to get out of that type of relationship.

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  10. Wow, good for you for having the courage to leave!

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  11. I am speechless. The thought of someone doing that to anyone sickens me but someone as sweet as you is even worse. I am sure that wasn't easy to share and I hope that women in abusive relationships read thus and find the courage to leave.

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  12. Thank you for taking the time to bravely share your story. Hopefully it can give someone who reads it the courage to leave an abuser.

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  13. This is very true. The controlling does not stop and the first time it happens is never the last time. I kept mine a secret while it was going on because I was embarrassed and did not want people to think I was weak. Thanks for sharing.

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  14. As always, so inspired by you and your honesty and realism. Bless you for what you have overcome and for sharing your story with others so they may find the courage to leave this terrible situation! Bless you Megan!

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  15. Thank God you found the strength to get out of that relationship, before it was too late. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think the more women that share their stories, the more other women will acknowledge abuse and refuse to be victims.

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  16. giiiirl! scream His name!!! you were saved by JESUS!!! Dont be ashamed to scream His name. What an incredible story you have, thank you for sharing that!!!

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  17. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm so sorry you went through that, but so glad that you were able to get out!

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  18. How so very unfortunate you had to endure something so awful and terrifying. I cry reading your story and get infuriated to hear of people being treated so inhumanely. To be weakened by someone you would do anything for is not an acceptable relationship. Thank you for being open and sharing your story and it's great knowing you've managed to "walk away and get yourself back.

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  19. I had no idea. Thank you for sharing...you are such a strong woman. And thank you Lord for saving Meg by your Grace.

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  20. what an incredible story! You would have never known any of this with the way you carry yourself! Way to go!

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  21. From one survivor to another - thanks for sharing your story.

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  22. Thank you for sharing. You are brave for leaving and for opening up to all of us. I am sure your words will touch someone

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  23. SO SO brave to share your story!! I know it will help someone else, thank you for sharing! <3 So glad you left and was able to find your love.

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  24. You are an incredibly strong woman for walking away and for sharing your story.

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  25. You are incredibly brave for sharing. Thank you. I am so very glad you found peace both in your heart and your home.

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  26. Thank you for sharing. I know that was not easy to share with a whole bunch of internet peeps.
    As previous posts have stated, the more I learn about you, the more I respect and admire you.

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  27. Wow Meg. Thank you so much for sharing your story. You are brave woman for opening up to us all like this. I hope that your story helps at least one woman out there get out of an abusive relationship.

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  28. Thank you for sharing your story. I've been reading your blog for a while and there's always been a light inside of you that draws people in. It's not just because you have a great personality, it's bc you've got Him over there ;)

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  29. Whoa. That is heavy stuff. I'm so grateful you are in a good place to share your story and help others with your honesty. You have clearly moved past that dark time in your life and that is awesome! Keep smiling and shining your light! You are a brave, brave woman and I'm glad you now have a peaceful life!

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  30. Thank you for taking the time to write and share this.

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  31. wow, meg. i am so glad you are safe and love yourself now. thank you for sharing your story.

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  32. You are an amazing Lady that's for sure! Thank you for sharing your story..........maybe one of your readers is in an abusive situation and you have inspired/helped them!

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  33. Most people don't know my story, but I just shake my head when people who have never been there share their opinions. Until you're in it, you just have no idea.

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  34. Amazing testimony to the power of of God and the power within a woman to change the course of their life. And a beautiful life you have been blessed with as a result.

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  35. Wow. It's unreal that you and so many other women have survived such abuse. Praying that someone in the same situation may read this and choose to get out today because of your courage to share. Thank you, God, for giving Meg the strength and courage to open the car door that day!

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  36. Thank you for sharing your story! You are truly amazing and an inspiration. It takes a lot of guts to tell your story, I know because very few know mine. You are amazing!

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  37. Thank you for sharing your story. I educate college students on the signs of domestic/ dating violence and why it can be difficult for people to leave those relationships. By you and others sharing real life stories make it possible for others to find the strength and courage to leave before it is too late. I have so much respect for you for having the courage to post such a personal story. You are so inspirational in so many ways! Keep on keeping on!

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  38. You… you.. are everything. The life your kids will grow up to lead with you as their guide.. Well, let's just say they're lucky. We're all lucky to have you around.

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  39. And just when I thought everyone couldn't love you even more than we already do. Your kids are so blessed to have you.

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  40. Oh wow, thank you so much for your openness! this will help so many women! i'm so sorry you went through that but am so grateful it made you stronger. What a putz that guy was! Geez! Scum.

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  41. Wow, thank you for sharing this. I have never experienced this myself, but know a few friends personally that have gone or are going through something similar. i'm so happy that you were able to get out of the situation, and this story defintely is one that shows there is hope for those who think there is not a better option.

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  42. Thanks for sharing. Hopefully your story reaches out to someone who needs it.

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