2.04.2014

Changing your Mind.

Some days I think my kid is a genius, not so much book smart {she IS 4}, but just her thought process. While we were out over the weekend she sassed me and I sent her to timeout, she crossed her arms and gave me the 'just leave me alone' speech as she stomped off. I feel ya kid, some days I just want to be left alone too. A few minutes later she came up to me and told me she 'thought in her head that she was grumpy and decided to change her mind'. We shook hands and were friends again.



I mean how great a concept is that, to just CHANGE. YOUR. MIND. I've had a few areas of my life where I've actually used this concept. One happened when I was 22 and probably saved my life. The other was when I decided to go back to school. 

I probably need to do better with this in my day to day life. I can get overwhelmed/stressed and not realize how it's affecting my attitude. I would say Oliver and I have been having more tiffs lately, it seems the bigger my belly gets the more we argue. I'm chalking it up to hormones for me and anxiety for him. The fact that I won't be staying home with this baby means things will be harder for him and he's pretty anxious about the changes. I mean we argued about how we would get Madison home from school one night while we were going to bed, he's adamant about her not riding a bus. Ok, but can we not talk about it when I'm trying to sleep? 



I need to stop and think about the situation before I react, I can be a little bossy/opinionated :) I will admit that I feel a little entitled to some special treatment at home. I'm the one who went to the fertility appointments, had surgeries, took drugs, and now carries a baby. I'll even go so far as to say that I shouldered the burden of all those months of not getting pregnant, he was kinds of oblivious to how hard it was. Maybe I should have complained more. 

this is your face on Clomid.

Maybe the real reason we argue is that I resent the fact that I 'feel' like I have to do it all. I put that on myself, he certainly doesn't. Maybe I need to change my mind about the fact that he owes me anything for going though all of this. Maybe my child just taught me a lesson.



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25 comments :

  1. I completely agree with your last few sentences! My boyfriend and I are currently buying a house, almost done THANK THE LORD! But we have been fighting like cats and dogs. Probably because I feel like i have to do it all, or it won't be done right. I am slowly learning to let go of that, I let him go grocery shopping all alone last night haha..baby steps! Twilight Sparkle just taught us both a lesson :)

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  2. She is a very smart little girl. We could all learn a thing or two from her, but you know she learned what she knows from YOU and you should be proud of that! You are raising a beautiful smart daughter and will do just as great a job with that little boy! They are lucky to have you!

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  3. Sounds like a very smart little girl.

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  4. Oy, I just want to give you a big hug and a gift card to that online rug store you like! <3

    Dot

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  5. Gretchen Rubin actually talks about this very thing in her book The Happiness Project. I suggest picking it up sometime... it was a very thought-provoking read for me.

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  6. I tend to feel the same way right now in my pregnancy... harboring some resentful thoughts towards my husband about feeling like I'm doing it all and his life hasn't changed and he doesn't even realize what I'm going through most of the time. I try to just let most of it blow over right now, telling myself that I'm just extra hormonal and that it is only for a few more months, but sometimes it's hard.

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  7. My daughter will be four in less than a month - and they amazing things she teaches me is heartwhelming. Sometimes we are so busy with ourselves we forget they have lessons for us too!

    Great story!!

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  8. I feel the same way, and I'm not pregnant! I too "feel" like I have to do it all, when really I put that all on myself! Itotally understand what you are feeling! You've got this momma!

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  9. I had really really hard pregnancies. I was severely depressed while on bedrest with my first. My second was the worst pain I've ever been in. My pubic bone split at 32 weeks and walking, sitting, standing everything hurt so bad. When my son was 5 weeks old, I woke up and couldn't walk for the pain in my legs and had a 103 fever. It turned out I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. My kids both had reactive airways and caught every bug that passed by them, even with me keeping them out of daycare. I was in a dark place after all that. I finally opened up to my husband about how sad I was and how I almost felt like I had post traumatic stress disorder and I needed him to say "I'm sorry, this sucks." every once in a while. Worked wonders. Now, I'm taking your advice and working out when I feel such things burdening my heart, and having a better open line of communication has definitely helped. Men want to fix and women need a snuggle. Sometimes we expect them to know and they just need to be told what to do. And changing your mind helps too!!!

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  10. This is exactly what I need to read today. Just change my mind- decide to be happy, decide to be content, decide to be less stressed. Just change my mind. I love it. Also, Twilight Sparkle is JUST the cutest...I hope one (some day far way!) when I'm a momma I get a girl as cute as her- and that I can be as good a mom as you are to her!

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  11. I just want to say FANTASTIC POST.

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  12. True, he doesn't "owe" you anything. But another person is coming into the household, and with only 24 hours in a day and 2 parents, things will have to change. It is a huge paradigm shift from 1 child to 2, and you (and Oliver) will be forever split between the needs and wants of each other and not 1 but 2 children. You'll never regret having another child, but decisions like TS having to take the bus will come into perspective against other decisions. And it will all be good.

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  13. Awesome post and very timely for me. While my circumstances are different, I could relate very much to the general idea of purposefully changing your mind in order to get to a better place for yourself and for others around you. It's hard when you are in the moment though!

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  14. Is there anything TS can't do? NOT REALLY.

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  15. Change is difficult not matter what it is. Sometimes we are so close to what is going on that we get wrapped up and overwhelmed with it all. It's easy to stress about the details of life, because they are important. From my own experience with "stuff", take it all one day at a time. Have those conversations when they pop up, but know that you don't have to solve all the "problems" right now. It will all work out and y'all will find your new groove. If you guys weren't having these discussions or looking to the future, that would be worrisome. From what I see, you're great parents and everything will work itself out.

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  16. This is an awesome post!
    I know my children are a big part of who I am today! They sure can teach us a lot!

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  17. You're doing a great job momma! It's amazing how little people can teach us momma's so much! My son is not even two and he has taught me more than I feel like I can teach him!!!
    Enjoy these last weeks of your pregnancy and hormones.... You are doing a wonderful job! Just remember all men are just about the same! We care way more than they ever will! ;-) Chin up beautiful!

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  19. I am 38 weeks pregnant today. I argue with my husband almost everyday. It's like I just can't keep my mouth shut. It is mostly over dumb things, like put your socks in te hamper and not on te floor! Lol. This is my second pregnancy an my first for carrying this long. So this last month I pregnancy is a new experience for me an I am not enjoying it like I was hoping to.

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  20. this is so awesome! i swear i just decided yesterday to change my mind and attitude as of that day. and i've had a fab day since!

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  21. I really needed this reminder today, we keep going back and forth between me going back to work full-time or staying at home/babysitting a kiddo (so I'm still making some amount of income and getting to be with the baby. I'm definitely struggling with this so it's good to know I can ALWAYS change my mind. Twilight Sparkle, you are a genius. And your mom. Just sayin'.

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  22. She is an amazing little girl, sometimes it takes a child to teach us about life, even though it is our "job" as parents to teach them.

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  23. Such a great post Meg! I totally get it. I have alot of issues with resentment towards things I have to do and the only one who does and puts my career ect on hold and I let it affect my mood when I shouldn't... I know my reaction is silly most times!

    Its amazing the things our little ones teach us!

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  24. I feel ya! My Husband and I went through infertility treatments, surgeries, IVF and now I'm 37 weeks pregnant. I've been a real pain in the butt the last few weeks or so, but the truth is I'm tired. It's always been SOMETHING for the past few years and while I know it's been hard on him too, he hasn't had to physically take on all of the burden. I can definitely relate to more tiffs the bigger the tummy gets…but we're in the homestretch! ;)

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