7.23.2013

The word that made me a happier parent.


I would say most people would describe me as energetic, enthusiastic, and happy.


Heck y’all don’t even personally KNOW me and I get those adjectives in emails and comments daily, which I love! I do try to be positive and have a good time, whether I’m at the gym or at work.
When you have a child, suddenly it’s like all of your bad qualities can be magnified, the impatience or the bad language you don’t even know you used until your toddler repeats it. You are responsible for this tiny human and that can be a lot of weight on a new mother’s shoulders. {or Fathers, but we all know the Mom’s do most of the work, haha}. I lost a lot some of those qualities when I became a Mother, not so much to others, but to my own child.


When Madison started walking at 10 months I very quickly learned that it wasn’t all fun and games. That kid got into everything; it was exhausting to keep up with. Never ever wish for a child to walk early, it’s a mean trick. I was constantly telling her NO. NO you can’t jump off the couch, NO you can't pull that off the counter, NO you can’t climb on that chair, NO NO NO. I wasn’t doing it to be mean, it was for her safety.


Later it became, NO don’t put that in your mouth, NO don’t throw your toys, NO don’t get into the pantry. One day I realized I was automatically saying NO to her all the time and it sucked, for me and her. I felt like she had so many requests all. day. long. that I couldn't keep up.



I decided to relax a little and let her be, if that included her pulling out everything under the counter than oh well. You want to dump a bunch of toys in the middle of my bedroom I just cleaned, go for it. Do you want to eat a Popsicle while running around naked and watching My Little Pony, fineeee.


 It might mean that we roll the windows down when it’s 95 degrees outside on the way home, yeah I’m sweating, but she loves it and sometimes it’s not always about me. Once I started to relax, parenting got a whole lot easier and much less stressful, we were both happier.


I won't say she was an easy child, far from it, she cried more than most and was a terrible sleeper. My Mom PROMISED me my next child would be easier and I can say that will probably be true just for the simple fact that I chilled. Sometimes if I feel myself getting upset I ask myself 'is it worth it?' I don't always give into her, but it sure is nice to just say yes.


Give your child a day and try to say yes to everything and see how much fun you can BOTH have!


48 comments:

  1. This is soooo me.. I have a 3 1/2 year old who is BUSY and I do find I say "No" more then I ever care to... Thanks for the post. Love it.

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  2. I completely agree with this whole post, been there done that! and life seems better when you just say yes!

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  3. There is a kids book called Yes Day. You would love it and so would Madison! Love your blog!
    P.S. I have a Madison, she is 25 and about to give birth to my first grandchild!!! :)

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  4. Funny how a lot of the stress of parenting is stuff we put on ourselves. Good for you for chilling and going with the flow, it makes for a much happier mommy. Plus, a little cat food never hurt anyone, right? ;)

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  5. I am so, so glad to read this. My son just turned one, and while he's not walking YET, he's a mover and a shaker and he's into EVERYTHING.

    I am constantly stuck in limbo. Do I say no to everything a be the mean mommy? Do I say yes all the time and set myself up for failure later in life?

    It's all about balance. I love this!

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  6. I love this!

    I am the same way with Harper. As long as it is not going to harm her, or be some insane mess (like dumping the dogs' water bowl all over the kitchen) then go for it. I will clean it up when she sleeps and she goes to bed a happy unstressed girl! Tim is much more high strung than I am, which actually was a parenting shocker to both of us! I love your mommy posts and that sweet girl of yours!

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  7. Awwwww itty bitty Madi. This is a great post...sometimes we just need to let it be. Typically I say yes, but our issues are fighting between the 2 and I'm having a hard time being the middle man everyday! I hate constantly saying "stop hitting each other" "be nice", etc. I'm trying to just let them work it out on their own. Hopefully it gets better.

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  8. I needed this - thank you. I'm very type-a and (a little!) high strung and perhaps OCD :). I don't want to be "that parent" but find myself doing it sometimes. It's nice to have a reminder that it's okay to just say yes sometimes.

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  9. This is such a great outlook on parenting and life in general too! Saying YES to things, picking and choosing your battles. I think finding time to chill and relax are important for all of us!

    Thanks for posting this!!!

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  10. I learned early on to "pick my battles"! No is easy to say when they are doing something possibly dangerous - yes is harder to say when they are just doing what they want to do. Congrats to you for also figuring it out early on!

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  11. Thanks! I really needed this today. I feel like all I say is NO, and I don't like it... and guess what?!?! I am stressed out 150% of the time.

    I guess I need to get the stick out of my butt and let my kids be kids...

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  12. I needed to read something like this today! Thanks for that kind of post!

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  13. Great post! I needed to hear this today. Sometimes it's just nice to hear that other Moms have the same struggles. I have been struggling with my 2 yr old. I feel like a constantly say no and find it harder to be constantly thinking a way to make a "no" a learning opportunity. Being a mom is so much harder than I would have ever imagined.

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  14. Love this post and couldn't agree more! I'm very much a "say yes" mom... not in the sense that I let my kids do whatever they want but in the sense that 'what's it going to hurt if they do that'?! They're their own person too, not just our children... I think too many people forget that! I let mine wear the mis-matched clothes, jump in the ocean with their clothes on if they want... silly things like that, but it feels good to not say no all the time.

    And speaking of horrible sleepers... I'm not much of a reader but my first was a horrible sleeper and my pediatrician kept recommending the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. I didn't read it, of course, but then when I had my second child I knew that I couldn't go through the awful sleep habits again... so for about the 50th time the pediatrician recommended that book and I read it (I think it was like $8 on Overstock.com) and it made a WORLD of difference! It teaches you all about sleep and how it's important for the babies' health and development. Of course we all want the babies to sleep because WE need sleep too, but this book talks about so much more than that... how it's essential to their little bodies to get deep, quality sleep, and so many babies don't get that. Anyways, just passing that along because it helped me a TON.

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  15. Wow- talk abot right time to read this! My little boys favorite word right now is "No" and I know it is because that is what he is constantly hearing. He is what we refer to as a tiny tornado. Though most of the time the "no" comes because he is about to break something or hurt himself or someone else. Still I am saying and hearing WAY TOO MUCH!

    Great post!

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  16. I love this post! It is so true. I am very type A and once I let type B in a little, it was a lot more fun for both of us :) Thanks for sharing!

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  17. Couldn't agree more!!! Saying yes is so much more fun than fussing all. the. time!!!

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  18. So sweet! I'm currently in the new walker phase and need to give myself that Relax reminder daily! Thanks for the post :)

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  19. You are so right. Sometimes we say no just because it's easier on us then if we say yes. I try to pick my battles. Being a relaxed parent has it's ups and downs, but I will take great kids and a fabulous relationship with them any day over strict parenting and rebellious kids. Great post Meg. And congratulations!!!!

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  20. LOVE this post. I stay at home with my almost 3 year old and 1 year old. Its exhuasting. I feel like meany mean pants sometimes and thats not ME at all. If people saw my lack of patience sometimes they wouldnt believe it. But like you said its for their safety! And maybe the fact that I already put the couch cushions back 203480242 times that morning. I do have days where Im like WHATEVER take out alll the tupperware, have fun on the floor with the cushions and take every.single.toy.out. And I am more relaxed those days- just have to remember that :)

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  21. Thanks Meg! I needed this today. I have been having a hard time with my 2 year old lately. You made me realize that maybe its not her... maybe it's me! Thank you for that!

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  22. Thanks Meg! I needed to hear that today! I have been having a hard time with my 2 year old and you made me realize that maybe it's not her. Maybe it's me. Thanks so much! Being a mom is... HARD!

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  23. this is fabulous advice. I am definitely a bit of a control freak and I need to learn to chill a bit before having kids!

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  24. I love this post! As a stay at home mom I often find myself saying "NO" too often to both my kids! Today I am going to work on the "YES" response!

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  25. I really needed this today. I woke up to a very hyper 6 yr old boy this morning. Who has since aggravated his sister and I completely! and to top off my mood, he just pulled one of his stitches out of his face (he took a nose dive onto the pool ladder saturday while trying to do a backflip into the pool. nevermind we always tell him NOT to do that). Anyway, I plan to take a big breather, try not to harm him and just go with the flow today!! thanks for sharing:)

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  26. Oh my! I read your posts every day and don't normally comment, but today I have to say THANK YOU! I have two boys, 4 and 1. I have recently decided that the 'path of least resistance' is a happier path for my family. No, I don't let them do whatever they want. Yes, they do get disciplined. But, sometimes you do have to let it go. They need to explore and learn things on there own...and sometimes (safely, of course) the heard way. Letting go for me meant a better family unit for sure. Thanks again!

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  27. Oh my! I read your posts every day and don't normally comment, but today I have to say THANK YOU! I have two boys, 4 and 1. I have recently decided that the 'path of least resistance' is a happier path for my family. No, I don't let them do whatever they want. Yes, they do get disciplined. But, sometimes you do have to let it go. They need to explore and learn things on there own...and sometimes (safely, of course) the heard way. Letting go for me meant a better family unit for sure. Thanks again!

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  28. This is so great! I think some parents, including myself, get so up tight sometimes and forget that kids need to enjoy the moment every now and again. More times than not, we tend to forget that and are constantly nagging our children to do this and not do that. I have found myself getting more lax with things over the years.

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  29. Such a great post Meg! I love it! - Ashley @ CoffeeCakeandCardio.com

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  30. Remind me of this post in 5-10 years when I'm a momma? :) Thanks! Love your heart Meg!!!!!

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  31. Great advice. Works wonders for everyone at my house when I am less strict about everything.

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  32. Cute Blog! Love Madison's personality! Sweet girl!

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  33. YES, YES, YES!!! This is something that I've been working on over time... just let them be... mine are 8 and 2.5 years old... if they can't get hurt, and aren't hurting each other... if they are getting along, being creative and not sitting in front of a tv, have no problem helping me to clean up whatever it is that they get into... why the heck not??!! It makes our lives as moms easier in the end. And to make it even better, they are learning that when mom (and dad- he's working on it!) says NO... that there really is a reason behind it, and it's not that we are just being lazy, tired or whatever any other reason may be.

    Love love love the post!

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  34. This post was written about me. I always felt like I was disciplining my son and constantly telling him no that I couldn't enjoy him or let him enjoy being a kid. I threw caution to the wind and now we have so much fun together. My house isn't nearly as clean, but I'll bet when he's grown he'll remember the fun times we had, not the clean and organized house. Also, I learned how to be a kid again and discover things through his eyes, just by allowing him to be a kid.

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  35. LOVE IT! I definitely need to start saying Yes a lot more. I feel like such a crabby mom most of the time.

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  36. LOVE IT!! I definitely need to say Yes more to my girls. I feel like such a crabby mom most times.

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  37. LOE THIS POST!!! I agree 100%! Kids need to be kids. And like you said, if that is pulling off everything from the shelves, so be it! We are only little and carefree once. Life is too short not to roll down the window in the heat and sing! At my house, the kids jump on and off the couch. TO some, that is being a bad parent. Oh well, it makes my babies happy and our couch is a hand-me-down. It is OBVIOUS that Twilight Sparkle is a very happy and well adjusted little girl. That just means you and Oliver are amazing parents! :)

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  38. Love this Meg! When my Hubs and I had our first, we were always by the books and everything was no. Now though, with two, I always think the same thing before reacting "will they get hurt?" If making a huge mess of their playroom is what they want to do, it's perfectly fine because they have to learn to clean it up, and they do, most of the time :)

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  39. Thank you for this! I am a teacher so I have been home with my two year old all summer and I am FINALLY learning to pick my battles! Something's just aren't that important in the long run.

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  40. I LOVED this post! I have a 3 1/2 year old son (Mason) and I am a teacher to 3 and 4 year olds. When I get home I feel so exhausted. Not because I am physically tired but because I seriously say no at least 75 times a day. Tomorrow I am going to ATTEMPT saying yes to Mason no matter what...unless it's dangerous lol. Thanks for the challenge :)

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  41. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS POST! I needed to read this. :) You are so right on, before you know it all you do is say no to everything, I would love for our house to be a little more relaxed. and it starts with me being a little more laid back about things. Thank you so much for this. I'm gonna get my hubby to read it, I think he could relax a bit too. Not sure how to tell him so maybe this will help.

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  42. I absolutely love this post. I guess I really needed to hear this :) you are so right on. Its really another way of saying don't sweat the small stuff I guess. Its so easy to get into the habit of just trying to keep them in line 24/7 that I forget to let them just be kids! I totally need just chill and relax, Now I just need to get my husband to read this, he can be more uptight than me, any tips on getting an uptight husband to unwind a bit?

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  43. I'm not a mom (yet) (hopefully one day), but I love this post. I have been around kids as a babysitter well into my 20s and totally know how exhausting all the "no's" can be. I am all about giving kids boundries and being sure they're safe, but how fun is it to just be your kids friend for a while and just let them be what they want to be and say "Yes!" to what they want?!? Love it!
    P.S. - I read your blog every day, but this is my first comment. Thanks for all you share with everyone.

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  44. In completely honesty, this is my favorite post of yours. I love reading about challenges of parenting, it seems like so many think it's easy or that it doesn't accompany hard times.

    You are truly such a stellar mom. I know that there have been some judgey, bitchy comments on your blog regarding things before, but really, you're amazing.

    Meg

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