4.25.2013

My Story {Part 2}


Part 1

I went back to school full time the fall after I had Madison, my Mother in law came to my house to watch her while I was gone. School was hard and finding time to study with a young child is even harder, but it was also nice that I got to ‘stay home’ with her a lot. I had flexibility, I could go to Mommy groups, and play dates. I was taking 12-15 hours a semester, but it still took me about 3 years to finally finish college.



 It was not my choice to stop working before I had Madison, it was just a bad situation, but after she came I couldn’t imagine leaving her every day.  I was glad I got to spend so much time with my new baby even though it was stressful living on one income. I was there for all her firsts, smile, laugh, steps, and words.   It was amazing to see the little tiny person I made turn into a toddler and I feel blessed I was fortunate enough to be there for her.



 I think around the time she turned 2 is when I really started to miss my ‘other’ life. The one where I had a reason to get dressed in more than yoga pants, the one where I had adult conversations daily, the one where I had friends {most of my good friends worked so I was alone during the week}. I missed my structured days and I sure missed having a second income.  Oliver was working at a job making jack shit {less than 50k} and he was unhappy there, an opening came up at a very well-known {read: hard to get into} company in Dallas. He applied, but with several hundred other applicants his chances were slim. I love my husband, but with some many people looking for jobs I had little hope that he would get picked. He went through 7 interviews and it finally came down to him and one other guy, I have never prayed so hard in my life. This position at this company would be a life changer for him and he deserved it. My prayers were answered and he got the job and we were able to breathe a sigh of relief that we could make it on his paycheck until graduation.



Besides the times I went to school {usually with a lot of people younger than me} I was alone with Madison. If you are new here and don’t know me then let me tell you, I’m a people person. I’m bubbly, talkative, and enthusiastic pretty much all the time. I love the be around other people and I really started to feel isolated in my life. With graduation approaching I was very much looking forward to going back to work, I needed to fulfill that area of my life. I know a lot of Mothers who are amazing at ‘staying home’ with their kids, I did not feel that way. I felt Madison was behind in her learning, speech, and social interaction skills and I certainly felt that was my fault. I was teaching her incorrectly or not teaching her enough, this made me feel like a terrible mother.  I felt the best decision for all of us was for her to go to preschool and I would go back to work.




I graduated in December 2012 and started working in January 2013. She currently goes to school 3 days a week from 9-2 and my Mother in law watches her the other times. I work full time, but my husband works a later shift so he’s with her every morning.  She has matured so much this year, in large part I think to her going to school.  I don’t feel guilty for going back to work; I think it’s the right choice for me and my family. My husband has a decent job, but it’s nice to know that we have a backup plan, should anything happen to him I could support us.  Maybe I would feel differently if Madison had to go to daycare, but honestly most of my friends’ kids go and they seem to love it. They get to hang out all day with their friends and play, who wouldn’t want that? I’m sure Madison would hate to stay home with me now, I KNOW I’m less fun than her teachers and classmates. I’m sorry, but Mommy can only play My Little Pony so much before she wants to scream ☺



Overall I would say I'm happy with our situation, there are times I wish I could take off and take her to the Arboretum or the Zoo. Next year that would be feasible, but this year I just don't have the extra time off. I would say I was pretty trepidacious when I actually got a job just because it was such a change for all of us, but I think we are settling in nicely and everyone seems happy. Working and fitting it all in is not easy, but neither is staying home. Everyone has their challenges and I'm doing my best to be the most for everyone in my life, INCLUDING MYSELF. I think a lot of the reason I seem to handle so much is because I make time for me, even if it's at 5 in the morning :)


To be continued....

28 comments:

  1. I too like working and don't feel guilty about it. Being a stay at home mom is admirable and something many women are great at, but I know my personality well enough that I know I would be terrible at it. I love your blog especially because I know you are a working mom just like me and you still manage to rock your workouts and look fab.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love her boots. My husband is a stay at home dad and I think he is now getting the itch to go back to work now that my daughter is almost 2. Thanks for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  3. try making it with 2 on 30k. I wonder if the cost of living is just higher down in dallas.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are SO fantastic!!! I'm 16 days aways from graduation after 10 YEARS (wtf is wrong with me?!?)...mind you I don't have a child OR a husband. Reading your posts about gaining confidence with weight loss and going to college was completely eye opening for me. THANK YOU, for being you and being vulnerable enough to put it "all" out there :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love your honesty in this post. I have been home now with my two girls since my seven month old was born and I am going back to work when she turns one. I am honestly so ready for it. I am not a stay at home Mum type 24/7. I love my girls and I love my husband for providing for us but I need to get out of the house more!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Way to go momma. I am a teacher, I have 3 children. I knew that I would never be a stay at home mom. I get all summer, plus every important holiday off with vacation. People ask if it was hard to go back to work after maternity leave was over. Absolutely not. I HAVE a career. My career supports our family the most, and I have the health insurance. I love spending my time with them, but as you said it, wearing yoga pants everyday gets old.

    Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty!! You're a wonderful momma and a beautiful inspiration. Which btw, I always like seeing pics of the "old you," you have a beautiful face regardless of your body size.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Amen to making it work! I think it's great that you went back to school & are doing what's best for your family!! XOXO!
    Come see me today! You helped change my life!!
    Brooklyn @ browneyedgem.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. wow! I love this post :) I feel the exact same way. this was especially refreshing for me to read right now. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I work in an evening college program and am fortunate enough to help guide adult students through the process of going back to school. It's TOUGH to go to college, be a successful student, an attentive mom, a supportive wife, and so many other things all at once! Kudos to you for handling it LIKE A BOSS!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. What did you go back to school for and what is your job? I am a new reader so maybe you have already answered these question. By the way--this is my new favorite blog!!!!!!! I am a 40 year old mom of four kids and have gone back to school. Did I already say I love your blog? Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks for sharing Meg. I'm a new reader and I really appreciate your openness about your life, struggles, and victories!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think it's great that you went back to school. I did the same thing when my kids were 2 and 5. It was hard, and I felt old, but it was totally worth it! It's good for our children to see us be dedicated and successful, no matter what we're doing, so good for you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Awww! These pictures of Miss Madison young bring back memories of my little guy! Now that I have been home with him for a few months, I will feel guilty going back to work, but I know it will be best for all of us! Thank you for sharing your story and can't wait to read the rest! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Miss M reminds me so much of my oldest. Very little hair, round face, likes playing sports but is also a girl. She's now a 13 year old with spirit. We share so many similarities but I'm back in college because I am basically burned out. I pray every day for a new job that will inspire me to get up every morning. Living in small town Texas doesn't provide a lot of choices. Bravo to you for enjoyable reading!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Reading this makes me feel so much better about my decision to go back to school. My son is 18 months and I'll be starting nursing school full time in 3 weeks. I feel like he would have so much more fun with other kids all day than being stuck home with me. Not to mention after almost 2 years, I miss being able to work and interact with adults.

    ReplyDelete
  16. nice post! i am a working mother of two boys ages 12 and 9, and there times I feel guilty and pulled thin but I also know that I would not be a good stay at home mom! i honestly feel that we are able to provide our boys with more opportunities with 2 incomes. I am still able to make 90% of ther activities with sports and school. we do what we have to do and it always seems to work out as it will for you! your daughter is happy, well adjusted and is proud of her mommy! you are a wonderful example for her!!! love your blog. :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. I know the feeling of missing the "old life". I still feel guilty every time I think about getting a job, but I need more adult interaction.. and soon. because I have multiple children and didn't get to finish college, I am going to wait until my kids are in school full time to start going back to school, and then get a job. We never had 2 incomes and my husband works as a waiter, so you could say it's a daily struggle. One day I will be able to help out financially, but for now, I'll just be the best SAHM I can be :)

    Erica Dee
    erica-dee.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. I think your decision to go back to work was the right one for your family! I so agree that kids need preschool sometimes....in the old days, when ALL moms stayed home, kids were outside, mingling together, getting their "social" on..that doesn't happen anymore. I have a son on the Autism spectrum, getting socialized means EVERYTHING all parents need to find the right fit for their child.....I think a good preschool is essential these days!! Good for you for doing what works best for your family.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can't imagine how hard it was going to school and taking care of a family. Congrats to you on your new job and best wishes!! Shannon

    www.thesudsinthebucket.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. There are days where I wish I was home with my boys but I am glad that I work. I wish I could go part time and still have a little of both. But financially I can't!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Meg, you should share in your post (if you don't mind) what your current fertility issue arises from, since you conceived Madison so easily, just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I completely hear where you're coming from! My twins are 2 and half, and while I am so thankful for the opportunity to be able to stay home with them - they are starting to drive me bat shit crazy! I totally miss being a productive member of society and adult conversations, and happy hours on Fridays. Sigh. Hopefully, with nice weather around the corner it will change all of our moods :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. It's funny how different pay ranges are "jack shit" to one person and would be a ton to another! We have three kids and COMBINED bring in less than 50K! haha.

    ReplyDelete
  24. You are great! I never once considered being a stay at home mom, and never once felt bad about it! I went stir crazy by the end of my maternity leave and couldn't wait to get back to work! And I definitely don't think I'm any less of a mom for it. We are women and we CAN have and do it all!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Thank you for posting this!! I feel guilty every day after dropping him off. I feel like I don't get enough time with him. I am working on building my work from home business so I can stay home with him full time.
    Hopefully it will happen someday.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for the post! I enjoy my job but I feel guilty that I can't stay home with my three year old daughter. Thanks for reminding me that it is ok to have a career and still possible to be a great mommy at the same time. Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I love your blog! So real and honest and fun to read. I don't have kids, but I know how hard it can be to go back to school later, and what it's like to go stir crazy at home. So, inspiring too!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Hey Meg! I just found your blog and I'm loving it. Congrats on your news by the way. I just got done reading your story and I feel like we are such kindred spirits. I grew up in Dallas and also have a 4 year-old. I too finished college at the ripe age of 31, after my son was born. So, I'm well aware of what it's like to tackle school with a baby. Not an easy task! I think you should always remember what an inspiration you are, not to mention your amazing fitness journey. I'm always looking for good inspiring fitness blogs, so I'm glad I found yours. Thanks for sharing your story.

    ReplyDelete

Make my day and leave me a love note!

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...