6.10.2011

I have no clue what I'm doing.

I am treading in unfamiliar territory.  The land of the terrible, no make that THE FREAKING AWFUL, 2 year old.  I have absolutely no clue what I am doing and I really am not liking the feeling.

Yesterday I had to run a few errands and obviously I had to take the toddler, first stop Academy.  After digging around my trunk and realizing I forgot the baby leash I should have just gone home, but it's a 30 minute drive there and well, gas ain't cheap.  I only had to get 1 thing, how hard could it be? Right?
Wrong.  She acted like a crazy loon pulling everything off the shelves and screaming while running away from me.  She thinks it's a game and yes I can run faster than her, but I'm pretty sure I pulled something in my back after hauling her off the ground for the 100th time.

Apparently that wasn't enough for me and I stopped at Target.  After getting in and out of the cart 10 times {the harness needs to be better on those things, she can climb right out of it} I succeed in grabbing a few things and we headed to the check out.  Now here things take a turn for the worse, she is trying to open the candy by the register and I take it away from her and pick her up, she screams NO and SLAPS. ME. ACROSS. THE. FACE.

Now, I've never had patience and having a child has shown me just how little I actually have. I honestly wanted to slap her back. {of course I never would, that would only make ME feel better }  To make matters worse the old lady checking me out gave me the LOOK.  You know the one, I would NEVER let my kids do that to me.  I honestly do not know what to do with this child.  I tell her "We don't hit people" and of course as soon as I let her arms go she hits me again.

I know she is 2 and this is a hard age, but it can't be ignored or I will end up on Supernanny by the time she is 5! The girl is deaf to me, yelling has no effect on her.  Swatting her booty has no effect on her.  Timeout has no effect on her.  She will sit there and then say sorry, but 5 minutes later does the same thing all over again.

After talking with family, it's clear she only acts this bad with me.  Everyone say's 3 is even worse and I'm telling y'all right now, if it is she WILL be an only child.  I envy those calm Mom's who can handle a house full of children.  It's just not ME, I like a little space and free time and that may sound selfish, but I can't change my personality.  I thank God that I have a husband who doesn't care that I take a lot of 'me' time.  Happy wife, happy life. Right? 

Can anyone give me some advice? My Mom had 4 kids all VERY close in age and when asked what she did says "I don't know it's all a blur." Which I totally get now :)

She must know I'm venting about her because she came over and hugged me. Stinker.

19 comments:

  1. I have no advice, but I just wanted you to know that you are NOT alone!!!!! Mine was like that yesterday ALL DAY and I was ready to lock her in her bedroom and leave her there. Also, the really funny part about the fact that they were both being terrible yesterday is that mine was wearing the same outfit!!!!!! Hahaha!!! (ps i have your blog in my reader from BCC)

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  2. oh you poor poor soul! My heart goes out to you. I can't give any life advice considering I haven't had a two yr old yet, but I would think that taking away something she really likes when she misbehaves would work for any kid. No?

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  3. You're not alone! Jackson is only 17 months old and acts like a wild animal in stores! In fact, there is NEVER a shopping trip that I complete without being red in the face and dripping with sweat, ha! I chase after him and pick up the trail of things he throws from our buggy and from the shelves. It's very embarrassing. He is also in the lovely hitting stage and I sometimes feel like I'm completely clueless. I just keep telling myself..."it won't be like this for long..." As I'm typing this, Jackson just through his lunch plate across the kitchen. He will most definitely be an only child :).

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  4. I wish I could help, but you have seen the attitude and tantrums my daughter throws. I am just praying to teach her something and to not kill her. Deep breaths...

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  5. As a mommy of a 2yr old as well I honestly can say to you "I know how you feel and have no advvice" and it sux. Ethan throws tantrums and swings at Drew and I . He slapped Drew across the face once and hasen't done it again. We sometimes don't know what to do either except sell him on the black market :) ..Good luck! Let me know if you find something that works.

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  6. OH NO!! I have to side with your mother on that one. I don't remember what I did either. I just know my kids are teens now and I always want to slap them!! (so don't feel bad!!) I'll check with my friends with little ones and see what they say!

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  7. Megan.. I am right where you are.. but luckily Adam really is almost 100% angel.. he can get sorta whiney and wants "love" as he calls.. it but for the most part that's the worse of his behaviors... other than always needing to go potty while I'm nursing

    I suggest that you do some reading.. Best Toddler on the Block.. and Tracy Hogg toddler whisperer book! I think they might be able to give you some ideas.

    Good luck and you can do it! I totally get the need for some me time.. it's normal! You are a person not just a mom!

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  8. Megan.. I am right where you are.. but luckily Adam really is almost 100% angel.. he can get sorta whiney and wants "love" as he calls.. it but for the most part that's the worse of his behaviors... other than always needing to go potty while I'm nursing

    I suggest that you do some reading.. Best Toddler on the Block.. and Tracy Hogg toddler whisperer book! I think they might be able to give you some ideas.

    Good luck and you can do it! I totally get the need for some me time.. it's normal! You are a person not just a mom!

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  9. I'm sorry, chick. For us, age 2 wasn't bad. My girls were good, up until age 5. Then they lost half of their brain.

    Deep breaths, lady.

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  10. aww that photo totally made me forget about how sassy she was to you. See that's what they do to us! It's a good thing they are so darn cute. I had a heck of a day today too. I feel ya! My little one was super fiesty today. My only advice is this: Be consistent, make sure they aren't hungry, and stick to a schedule. Schedules are super important. It's hard. You will have awesome days and you will have days where you just want to hand them off to a total stranger (well maybe not, but it might cross your mind).

    When all else fails look at her cute little face :)

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  11. Wow, I have no advice for you, because I have no children. I know they say that two and three year olds are the worst because they are pushing every boundary you throw at them. It's a bummer that she only acts that way with you - maybe she thinks she can get away with those things? I don't know. I wish I was more help!

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  12. It's such a tough age. Makes you want to pull your hair out. Luckily "this too shall pass". Some things we did (do) are:
    I let Avery ride in the big part of the basket. She seems to enjoy the room and organizing our purchases. The challenge is making sure she remains seated. But I try to make her job putting the stuff in the cart. I've also left a store (Hobby Lobby-tragedy!) when Avery wasn't listening. It actually broke my heart to drag (literally-i ignored THOSE looks)her out of the store screaming and crying that she wanted to stay but I had to prove a point. That's not always an option though.
    I've also been known to be one of THOSE parents that have opened food in the store. Judge me now!
    The hitting thing I think is just a phase. Avery tended to hit and I would try to redirect. I would tell her if she wanted to hit, she could hit the floor but she could not hit people. She doesn't seem to hit as much any more.
    And when all else fails I may or may not be known to bust out my iphone with games, pictures or even a TV show from You tube. Sometimes I'm desperate.
    Avery turned 3 in April and it seems to be much less tragic than 2...hopefully that will stay the same!
    Good luck!

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  13. It is so hard! And randomly - Target is the one and only place my kiddo ever slapped me in the face too. My soggestion? Don't shop at Target.

    I kid, I kid.

    Seriously - I got the exact same look from people ("I'd never let MY child do that to ME!") and even an astonished "Ohmygosh, are you OKAY?!"

    I can tell you that my sudden silence and speed to the checkout actually scared the kiddo. With 2 and 3 year olds, I've found that delayed consequences are pointless. Normally I would have turned from the other shoppers and had a heart-to-heart with a strong squeeze of the offending arm, but I was honestly shocked.

    Sorry, I don't know what to say, but I know that ALL things are phases. Trite, but true.

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  14. I also have a two year old daughter (and a six year old daughter) who is into hitting right now. I have stooped so low that I now result in fake crying when she hits me. That is starting to work because her feelings get hurt when she sees me cry. She now will raise her hand and think about it before she throws an upper cut ;) What I do with her when I take her to stores is strap her in and give her snacks, juice, book, toys, whatever to keep her busy. Also it's totally normal to want to unleash on your child from time to time. A mom can only take so much! There are times when I literally have to go into my room and lock the door for a couple of minutes to take a few deep breaths or scream into a pillow :) Hang in there, she will grow out of it and into something else. My five year old told me today after I have repeatedly told her to clean her room "Geez Mom I heard you the first 20 times!" Needless to say she now has no TV for a week with that mouth. It doesn't get easier, you just will have to deal with different kinds of dramas as she gets older :)

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  15. My youngest in Three now and a little terror at times. He slapped me across the face in public too (at the Yo Gabba concert) I wanted to strangle him. I have actually responded with a "what?" comment when getting "the look" from someone. BTW, they are WRONG to do that to you are anyone else!
    The best advice I can give you is......consistency! Stay consistent time-outs, etc. and it will begin to work. She doesn't know how to supress her desires (the candy) or how to be patient yet. Putting her in the back on the backet might help too. Mine never ride in the front! Kids can get motion sickness and riding backwards might bother her.
    Hang in there! It will all be okay!

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  16. I hear you. Poor thing. I lucked out, because my child has have never had a temper tantrum in a store. She tried once and we packed up everything and left without buying anything. She has never tried it since. As for hitting, I always ask AbbySue if she would like it if I hit her the same way she has hit me. That seemed to work. Do you give her a lot of juice? Sometimes that winds them over the top. The thing Abby Sue hates most is me telling her that mommy doesn't want to be around her when she is acting up. She stops immediately. GUILT them!!!

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  17. well, unfortunately vicky is right. when you're kids go around slapping you, yelling at you, throwing themselves on the floor, getting in your face and counting to three. . . oh wait that's my kid... the best thing is to pack up and leave the store. this proves absolutely inconvenient for the adult who has an errand to run or dinner has just been set before them... which is why i very rarely leave. my daughter is 18 months and she's pure evil. my son is 3 and he's an angel but he whines and whines, and is hard of hearing. not physically but selectively. of course, they only act this way with you, probably because on some level they are testing your "unconditional love."

    as for the women throwing around "the look"... whatever. they only have the opportunity to give you the look because their child has lost his shit in public.... doesn't mean they didn't do it earlier, and won't do it later...

    just know that it is a phase, and by the time you've learned to deal with it, they'll be on to the next one.

    oh and smile.

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  18. I feel your pain. Been there.One time my son was getting mouthy at the store kept running around hiding from me knocking stuff over. I had to take him and carry him out over my shoulder while he kicked and screamed thru the whole store. did i mention we started at the very back of store and the entrance was at the front. . Everyone was looking at me to see if i was going to beat the crap out of him. I was so flustered and so angry i imagined knocking him out in my mind. I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest. lol. everyone told me just leave the store if he does it. Well it pissed me off that i had to leave the store because of him. He is 8 now and i try not to take him shopping cause he wants something everytime. I find an antideppressant helps. lol.

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  19. Being cute is how they come out alive on their 4th birthday.
    Just know that you'll get through it. And that sugar is your enemy.
    I have a 7 year old and now when she freaks out, I make her pick up dog poop...Just know someday you'll be able to make her pick up dog poop :)

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